OM45GE - Posted - 09/07/2021:  10:05:40

have spent it on something meaningful like booze and easy women.

It was then that he realized

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/07/2021:  11:32:27

he had left his car running in the turtle parking lot. 



Hurriedly 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 09/07/2021 11:34:03

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/07/2021:  16:50:04

he tried to make it back but found that his car had already ran out of gas and quit.

Luckily for him

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/07/2021:  17:23:31

he had won the lottery that afternoon.

Now

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/07/2021:  20:07:32

he figures he’s on easy street.

But alas

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/08/2021:  07:54:35

his ex-wife had other plans for his new-found wealth.

Considering

OM45GE - Posted - 09/08/2021:  08:35:32

how quickly she was able to transfer the funds to accounts in the Cayman Islands, she must have had experience in the financial services industry.

Either that or

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/08/2021:  08:43:45

she’s been moonlighting as a street walker all these years and building up a nest egg.

Such are the ways

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/08/2021:  17:05:52

of wicked and wanton ex-spouses.

On a brighter note

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/08/2021:  18:01:51

I bought new LED bulbs today for the garage.

One would think

OM45GE - Posted - 09/09/2021:  04:50:42

I would have done this long ago.

However, I wanted to be sure

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/09/2021:  10:20:54

LED didn’t stand for “Losers Exhibit Dumbness”.

I’ve also been receiving cryptic messages

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/09/2021:  14:49:21

from someone in the southern hemisphere.

They want me to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/09/2021:  17:57:49

text them lurid explicit pictures.

So

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2021:  02:41:47

I’ve been setting up a home studio in my bedroom.

The lighting is perfect but I’m having trouble

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/10/2021:  04:43:53

locating willing participants.

No one

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/10/2021:  09:33:52

I know anymore is into that kind of thing.



All my past friends have passed

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/10/2021 09:34:11

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2021:  16:45:46

gas in polite company and are no longer welcome at most gatherings.

They’ve had to

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/10/2021:  17:53:58

set up a Members Only club to continue on with their shenanigans.

Becoming a member is

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/10/2021:  19:01:29

next to impossible because the bylaws state that “you have to be a member to become a member”.

This limits

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2021:  02:47:37

their final membership to nobody.

The meetings are quite dull, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2021:  06:51:45

at least the vice squad never breaks up the proceedings.

Speaking of vices

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2021:  07:04:36

has anyone ever tried to put the squeeze on you?

I used to know a guy

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/11/2021:  16:20:44

who would squeeze your booty meat when you weren’t looking.

Turns out

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2021:  20:54:50

he was a cad and a self-appointed Don Juan.



My neighbo(ur hammered a raw potato into his tailpipe

Edited by - chuckv97 on 09/11/2021 21:00:27

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2021:  03:36:52

just to see what would happen.

Unsurprisingly, nothing

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/13/2021:  07:30:12

alarming cooked up over the incident because the spud boiled up and blew right out.

Sometimes

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2021:  07:37:43

my silver tooth fillings begin to vibrate.

I’m thinking messages from

OM45GE - Posted - 09/13/2021:  10:38:05

alien visitors secretly orbiting the earth are being beamed down to me.

They must think I

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/13/2021:  17:43:33

have some pull with the DNR and can get them fishing licenses at a discount.

Won’t they be surprised

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/13/2021:  18:49:02

when they find out different.

Seems like

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/13/2021:  19:48:40

the whole world’s gone cuckoo.

Fifty years from now

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2021:  02:57:43

they will look back at these times and shake their heads in disbelief.

Historians will probably call this time the

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/14/2021:  05:57:38

“Age of Self-Aggrandizement”.

Every

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2021:  06:25:49

Tom, Dick, and Harry should look themselves in the mirror.

A genuine self-appraisal

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2021:  10:55:52

is admittedly difficult.

That’s probably why

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/14/2021:  11:08:59

they showed up in the first place.

Seems they never

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/14/2021:  11:31:49

use coupons when purchasing groceries.

You’d think maybe

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2021:  11:45:44

they think money grows on trees.

A nut farmer in Fresno

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/14/2021:  13:05:42

is dating a date farmer in the Coachella Valley.

They

OM45GE - Posted - 09/14/2021:  13:48:12

are thinking of patenting a date nut bar but are worried someone has beaten them to it.

Perhaps a nut date

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/14/2021:  16:53:23

would be raisin the bar too high and the recipes should be pruned a bit. 



Adjustments could be

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 09/14/2021 16:55:49

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/14/2021:  22:06:55

made in spite of nutbar protesters demanding almond joys.

My giddy-up & go

OM45GE - Posted - 09/15/2021:  05:12:02

has got up and went.



That might make

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/15/2021 05:12:22

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/15/2021:  07:56:52

for less Zip-in-my-Doo-Daa but there is still Lead in my Pencil.

Most of

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2021:  09:22:15

my friends are dead.

I’ve since acquired a Seance Kit

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/15/2021:  10:20:17

that I've been dying to try out.

I've been told

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/15/2021:  14:32:50

I should bathe more often.

It’s

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/15/2021:  17:03:09

most likely a figment of your imagination.

Often