OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  08:16:06

probably wouldn't want to arrest him anyway.

It would be more

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/07/2014:  09:40:38

tax money consumed.

After the treaty was signed they all

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2014:  09:55:45

gave each other the finger.

So much for

RandyZ - Posted - 04/07/2014:  10:44:28

just giving a box of cigars or a nice gift like a trumpet.



speaking of Aphrodite, word has it that she...

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  11:17:53

was really a Hermaphrodite.

She hated being called Aphrodite the Hermaphrodite so she

RandyZ - Posted - 04/07/2014:  11:20:13

just changed it to Aphrodite, the hermaphrodite with the afro.





This was the logical choice seeing how the name...

Edited by - RandyZ on 04/07/2014 11:20:29

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  11:56:29

didn't really rhyme and wasn't alliterative.

This didn't go over very well with her

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2014:  11:59:48

grammar teacher,who loved alliteration and malapropism.

Aphrodite was made to

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  12:03:35

write "I will not daydream about Adonis during class" 100 times.

This didn't have

RandyZ - Posted - 04/07/2014:  12:09:14

any bearing on her love for Adonis.

Little did she know, Adonis had been at the all-nite-buffet, and ballooned to over...

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  12:25:01

300 pounds.

He was waddling

RandyZ - Posted - 04/07/2014:  12:40:57

side to side...while bacon and hohos fell from his toga wrap.

This wrap had to fashioned from an old parachute he found in a time capsule most likely put there by...

OM45GE - Posted - 04/07/2014:  13:53:13

Orson Wells, or perhaps Marlon Brando.

Both gentlemen brought the cinema to new

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/07/2014:  15:21:44

suckers with money to burn for matinee seats.

Brando's 1952 Triumph

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/07/2014:  16:59:48

was really a girls bike.

But Brando kept it

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/07/2014:  17:50:40

out of sight in the barn

the critters started acting up after

RandyZ - Posted - 04/07/2014:  18:47:02

He put the streamers on the handlebars.

As the sun shined thru the cracks in the barnwood siding, it was easy to see that...

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2014:  03:20:21

the bike had suffered under his ponderous rump.

The seat was flattened and the springs

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/08/2014:  04:06:36

were broken.

They dragged it outside,put some gas in it and

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2014:  04:29:32

were amazed when it started right up.

They started arguing

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/08/2014:  06:24:12

about which pawn shop to take it to.

just then Red Sanford came by with his old pickup truck and

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2014:  06:39:20

threw the motorcycle into the back and drove off before they realized what had happened.

To this day,

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2014:  07:03:57

Aunt Esther can be seen dragging on downtown streets on that old bike.

Lamont tried to

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2014:  10:31:51

get the keys from her.

She didn't even

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/08/2014:  14:07:07

let him get the words "now, Aunt Esther" outta his mouth before she had done back handed him clear acrosst the room and into Fred, knocking him down in the process, where he jumpt up and commenced to flailing at Aunt Ester and Lamont both at the same time.

While this was going on

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2014:  15:51:29

Grady sneaked a drink out of Fred's cupboard.

Trouble was,though,

OM45GE - Posted - 04/08/2014:  16:05:14

what he was drinking was paint remover.

Grady ended up

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/08/2014:  19:01:32

with another hooker that drank the same thing

I mowed the grass today and

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2014:  19:56:46

a stoned hippy walked by and rolled up some clippings.

He asked me where

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/08/2014:  20:15:35

all the fruitcakes were.

I told him there were a few still on the BHO but some

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/08/2014:  20:44:48

have drifted off to Area 51.

They seem to think

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/09/2014:  03:11:48

ares 50 is low class.

When trying to fly an F-16,never,never

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2014:  04:39:36

think that a few drinks will calm your nerves.

You'll just end up

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/09/2014:  06:11:31

with the F-16's as well as your own wrong end up.

The black box

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2014:  06:36:24

doesn't lie and can't be tampered with.

Some pilots

OM45GE - Posted - 04/09/2014:  10:07:38

are bold and some are old.

But there are

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/09/2014:  15:27:12

fish in my pond

the hardware store guy said

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/09/2014:  16:15:26

he'd sell me some plastic fish in case the real ones died.

Just don't fry

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/09/2014:  16:55:24

beacon with them or they will taste like plastic pork chops

one of the ranch hands caught

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/09/2014:  17:01:30

a bad case of the heebie jeebies.

He was prowling around outside the bunk house one night

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2014:  03:12:34

and stumbled on the case of heebie jeebies.

Not knowing what they were, he

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2014:  06:00:30

proceeded to open one heeby jeeby.

Well,you wouldn't believe

OM45GE - Posted - 04/10/2014:  06:44:34

what happened next.

There was a flash of light, a loud bang and

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/10/2014:  18:14:43

the sound of motor hitting the rav- limiter

did I tell you that

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/10/2014:  20:43:22

every story I've ever told is a bald-faced lie?

Truth is elusive

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/10/2014 20:43:44

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2014:  03:18:04

as Pirandello well knew.

He often

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/11/2014:  04:21:57

gathered information that was top secret.

But when the CIA investigated him they

OM45GE - Posted - 04/11/2014:  07:10:48

were unable to get him to talk.

He was particularly tight lipped about

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/11/2014:  07:33:56

the counterfeit tone ring scandal.

Where there's smoke,