OM45GE - Posted - 09/05/2018:  04:38:21

look kindly on efforts like that.

They call it

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/05/2018:  05:02:01

looking kindly on efforts like that.

It's kind of like when

OM45GE - Posted - 09/05/2018:  07:18:05

someone calls a spade a spade.

I call them shovels, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/05/2018:  09:34:08

then I was never good at pinochle.

Board games are boring

OM45GE - Posted - 09/05/2018:  10:02:55

unless you find a way to make them a little more realistic.

I like to make all the players take

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/05/2018:  17:39:17

their clothes off.

Then the fun begins

OM45GE - Posted - 09/05/2018:  18:43:04

and the spectators start filming.

They will

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/05/2018:  19:24:07

always look at the females.

Never look at another man's wife when

OM45GE - Posted - 09/06/2018:  03:24:45

your wife asks if you’re having an affair.

She will realize

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/06/2018:  03:46:13

that someone else wants you.

Would you walk a mile for

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/06/2018:  08:01:14

a camel?

My lungs are shot

OM45GE - Posted - 09/06/2018:  10:11:06

but they’re the only ones I have.

I’m hoping they will

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/06/2018:  12:12:31

last till I die.

If they don't then someone

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/06/2018:  13:11:14

better pump me full of Oh-Two til I get my grave dug.

You should always go to other people’s funerals or else they

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/06/2018:  13:44:47

won't come to yours, according to Yogi Berra.

Yogi always knew how to

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/07/2018:  02:25:08

rob a bee tree.

He is also very good at

OM45GE - Posted - 09/07/2018:  03:24:51

managing a Major League Baseball team.

One time he

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/07/2018:  04:34:37

pilfered a pic-a-nic-a basket from a fan.

When he brought it back to the dugout,

OM45GE - Posted - 09/07/2018:  05:04:47

the park rangers were waiting to arrest him.

First they shot him with a tranquilizer dart and then

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/07/2018:  05:53:00

moved him back to Jellystone Park.

OH MY Goodness,But that was

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/07/2018:  07:40:30

a shock to any Yankees’ system.

His relationship with BooBoo

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/07/2018:  08:24:10

didn't stop Yogi from trading him to the Cubs.

In exchange, Jellystone received

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/07/2018:  08:28:01

went down the canyon.

Better times are

OM45GE - Posted - 09/07/2018:  11:54:35

coming, or so they say.

If they’re so good at predictions, why don’t they

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/07/2018:  13:00:13

predict better baseball scores?

I guess that wouldn't work because

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/07/2018:  13:28:59

the mob corking the bats would have something to say about that.

If you bet

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/07/2018:  14:47:55

$100 and don't win,,then you've lost.

On the other have if you

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/08/2018:  02:59:36

bet you might win

then you won't

OM45GE - Posted - 09/08/2018:  05:32:22

have to worry about the bookies breaking your legs because you’ll have lost either way.

The odds are

Edited by - OM45GE on 09/08/2018 05:32:54

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/08/2018:  08:05:03

stacked against you if you come home drunk at 2am.

You’ll be sleeping in the

OM45GE - Posted - 09/08/2018:  10:34:44

doghouse, like so many times before when the dog lets out a hellacious fart.

It will wake you from your drunken stupor and

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/08/2018:  11:28:49

send you into spasmatic tremors.

Then right after that all the

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/08/2018:  11:33:53

divorce papers will arrive at the doghouse door, courtesy of FedEx.

Just put extra socks and shorts in your banjo case

OM45GE - Posted - 09/08/2018:  16:08:45

and head to the bus station.

Buy a ticket to the furthest

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/09/2018:  01:49:24

hillbilly jam session and joint in.

Don't tell anyone what

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/09/2018:  04:48:22

the extra shorts are for, nor what key you’re playing in.

Any hillbilly with a brain

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/09/2018:  05:35:01

will not be at the jam session..

Don't try to convince anyone that

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/10/2018:  04:16:50

you are a musician.

They will laugh you right out of

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2018:  04:40:20

the tiny back room the library has banished them too.

You should be

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/10/2018:  05:19:57

getting on home now..Your Mamma will be worried.

Don't even stop at the

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2018:  05:32:18

soda shoppe for a malted milk.

If you’re even a few minutes late, you

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/10/2018:  06:27:31

will have to bend over for to get an old-fashioned whipping.

Never tell’em you’re a closet masochist

OM45GE - Posted - 09/10/2018:  11:07:43

because they don’t take kindly to someone enjoying the abuse.

They view it as

banjoscotty - Posted - 09/11/2018:  04:43:51

an act of insubordination.

But if they persist in pounding

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2018:  05:23:12

you into submission it’s best to submit as quickly as possible and get the beginning over.

I prefer to be the

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/11/2018:  05:57:02

hammer rather than being the nail.

But I think Paul Simon has already written a song about

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/11/2018:  07:09:23

that, and the sounds of silence when the jam is over.

He never wrote about tinnitus

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 09/11/2018:  07:17:16

, that we know of.

But songwriters have many unreleased

OM45GE - Posted - 09/11/2018:  13:07:45

songs sitting in their private collections.

I’m sure there are a lot of subjects