KyBanjo - Posted - 04/13/2021:  19:39:00

was always trying to get one over on Sam Drucker.

Sam once told me

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/13/2021:  20:49:17

that Charlie had told Floyd that Kate was advised by Ag Rep Kimbel not to take Arnold Ziffel over to Drucker’s General Store anymore.

He eats all the pork rinds

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/14/2021:  05:48:02

in true cannibalistic fashion leaving no evidence of the event.

He figures

OM45GE - Posted - 04/14/2021:  08:31:05

what nobody else sees won’t hurt him.

Unfortunately,

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/14/2021:  09:36:36

Sam had eagle eyes and a shotgun.

Arnold beat a hasty retreat

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/14/2021:  11:11:56

for the door as fast as he could go nearly knocking Fred Ziffle down.

Sam was right behind him when

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/14/2021:  13:29:41

he heard the winning lottery numbers being announced on the radio.



Quickly

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/14/2021 13:30:38

OM45GE - Posted - 04/14/2021:  13:49:00

he pulled out his wallet and started search for the ticket he had purchased.

This gave Sam a chance

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/14/2021:  15:37:14

to cool down a little bit as Joe had him really riled up.

He frantically searched his wallet but

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/14/2021:  16:46:23

realized he’d fallen into the crick yesterday trying to retrieve his hat.

Everything in his wallet was in tatters

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/14/2021:  17:10:45

except the unused, foil cased, condoms he had carried since high school.

Relieved

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2021:  03:42:27

that his lucky rubber was safe, Sam resumed his pursuit of Arnold.

Unfortunately, he didn’t notice that

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/15/2021:  07:02:00

Arnold had ran off to the Douglas farm.

Mrs. Douglas always had

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2021:  08:03:12

pork rinds set out for passing strangers.

Her soft heart

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/15/2021:  10:35:00

was stimulated by a pacemaker.

She

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/15/2021:  10:43:00

always had a soft spot for Arnold and loved his company.

Mr. Douglas on the other hand

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2021:  11:43:34

was often annoyed by Ag Rep Kimbel, Haney, and Arnold.

He tried on some bib overalls once

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2021:  07:45:16

but Mrs. Douglas hurt herself from laughing so hard.

When she caught her breath she said,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/16/2021:  13:40:49

“Those bib overalls look ridiculous”.

After that

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/16/2021:  14:11:53

Mr. Douglas would only be seen in a three piece suit sometimes in a vest as well.

Back at Drucker's

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2021:  17:42:13

Sam was hosting a motley crew of bluegrass pickers around the ol’ pot belly stove.



One of’em called out "Up Jumped the Devil”

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/16/2021 17:43:07

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2021:  03:25:32

But it turned out he wasn’t naming a song.

He started sprouting horns and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/17/2021:  05:14:26

growing a spiked tail while inquiring about Charlie Daniels.



This was a sign

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 04/17/2021 05:15:47

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/17/2021:  09:07:50

when the devil jumped upon a hickory stump.

And said

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2021:  09:51:55

“I couldn’t find an oak stump so I’ll have settle for hickory.”

“All you heathens,, lend me your ears

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2021:  13:32:54

because I’m making a lovely ear casserole.

Most of you don’t listen anyway so

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/17/2021:  13:56:21

go ahead and lend your ears to him anyway, see if I care.

Looks as if

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2021:  05:58:08

I’m going to need a good tax attorney.

I got a letter from

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/18/2021:  06:12:57

my ex-wife.

Seems she

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2021:  06:17:32

was making money on the side,, or more accurately, on her back.

Unclaimed income can

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2021:  07:14:33

lead to interest and penalties on any unpaid taxes.

I’m hoping to prove

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/18/2021:  10:59:49

that the extra money was tax deductible.

Every year she

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/18/2021:  16:05:39

spends a lot of money on doctors who treat STD’s.

She prefers bartering

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/18/2021:  18:52:14

and does so very well as we owe nothing now.

Seems like

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2021:  19:23:12

all’s well that ends well.

Speaking of wells

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2021:  03:33:13

, I knew a fellow named Art Teesian who owned a well drilling company.

He always said his business was going into the hole, but

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/19/2021:  05:06:41

he seemed to be doing uncommonly well for a well digger and people speculated he might be shafting them.

Maybe

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2021:  08:02:32

we should pump him for more details.

He may say it's water over the dam, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/19/2021:  09:14:42

I say he’s burned his bridges behind him.

He’s drilled

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2021:  10:20:57

more holes than a French gigolo.

That is saying

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/19/2021:  12:45:00

a lot considering well driller Art Teesian is a registered eunuch.

It’s amazing

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/19/2021:  12:53:08

what eunuchs get away with these days.

I saw one recently

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/19/2021:  12:59:58

at Dairy Queen asking for extra nuts.

You would think

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/19/2021:  13:54:44

maybe the waitress at Jimmy’s Lunch would take a shower more often.

As it is

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/19/2021:  16:23:33

she really knows how to fumigate the place.

What really gets me is

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/19/2021:  22:13:26

the way she slings hash.

Her styling

OM45GE - Posted - 04/20/2021:  03:33:28

leaves a lot to be desired.

I wish she

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 04/20/2021:  05:24:47

would shave her pits if she insists on wearing wife beater t-shirts.

Maybe a bra

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/20/2021:  07:13:09

would do her some good.

Jimmy told her