banjoscotty - Posted - 06/21/2014:  03:26:54

and swam to safety.

Boys will be boys untill

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2014:  04:17:43

they have their transgender surgery. 

Then they

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/21/2014:  05:09:13

look for a new occupation

I often look for

jistgreg - Posted - 06/21/2014:  05:23:25

railroad trains. 

Where are   

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/21/2014:  11:55:42

the hobos these days?

They were famous

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/21/2014:  17:35:05

for guitar pickin and singing

the roar of the

jistgreg - Posted - 06/21/2014:  18:17:30

.the greasepaint!

The smell of 

Edited by - jistgreg on 06/21/2014 18:18:03

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2014:  19:29:48

a baboon's armpit. 

That's a smell you will never

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/21/2014:  20:55:52

erase from your nostrils.

One remedy is

jistgreg - Posted - 06/21/2014:  23:39:07

to smell the baboon's other armpit. 

I'm not sure I trust 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/22/2014:  05:59:31

the words of the MSM ever again because they spin every thing out of recognition

the BHO is as good as

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2014:  08:11:41

it gets with all these pluckers creating cacophonic bedlam.

Earl had to leave home

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/22/2014 08:12:21

OM45GE - Posted - 06/22/2014:  13:52:51

when his wife realized that what he told her was a cello was, in fact, a banjo. 

She was

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2014:  15:21:19

enraged because he played standing up.

Amish men also stand up

OM45GE - Posted - 06/22/2014:  15:38:09

to put their pants on. 

However, they sit to

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/22/2014:  16:49:37

tie their shoes and rock the kids

the next time I go shopping

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2014:  17:09:48

I'm taking some money with me.



Twice now they've asked me

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/22/2014 17:11:22

OM45GE - Posted - 06/22/2014:  17:15:50

to pay for my purchases. 

Its quite embarrassing 

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2014:  17:27:49

when the police come and handcuff me to the squad car door.

Then they get another call

MWBailey - Posted - 06/22/2014:  19:39:46

And off we go.



If they'd uncuff me from the door first,

Edited by - MWBailey on 06/22/2014 19:40:10

jistgreg - Posted - 06/23/2014:  00:03:23

I'd stand and wait patiently for them to come back, honest. 

Maybe even pick up my Squared Eel and rattle off a few bars of 

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2014:  06:37:14

I Shot The Sheriff.

Hopefully they'll have a

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/23/2014:  07:50:03

full buffet laid out at the jailhouse,along with a big flat screen TV.

It's a free holiday

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2014:  07:56:12

at my office, but I don't think it will matter much to me with all the legal proceeding.

Maybe they will

jistgreg - Posted - 06/23/2014:  11:33:43

forgive and forget, but I wouldn't count on it. 

If they had strawberry shortcake, 

OM45GE - Posted - 06/23/2014:  12:24:34

would they notice if I ate several servings?

I'm hoping they would

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/23/2014:  17:10:43

come get me soon before it gets too crowded

a friend of mine

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/23/2014:  17:24:02

got too friendly with a female undercover cop.

She gave him a

jistgreg - Posted - 06/23/2014:  20:34:10

mark upon his brow with a kick that she had learned before she was saved. 

So my son take my advice and roam not far from home and always shun the fatal 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/24/2014:  03:14:50

situations that come upon you.

There is an alternative for violence..it's called

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2014:  04:05:37

agoraphobia. 

Of course, it does 

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/24/2014:  07:20:35

have it's limitations.

You might want to check with the Highway Patrol for

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/24/2014:  07:56:44

any signs of my runaway wife.

She's wearing my old trench coat

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2014:  10:25:28

and carrying my banjo case. 

She doesn't have

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/24/2014:  17:03:04

the money to buy his ring so the wedding was set back for a time

my corn will be used for

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/24/2014:  17:45:37

for my new ethanol still.

The revenooers

Scaggs7 - Posted - 06/24/2014:  17:49:05

bought it for me last year

the neighbors thought I was

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/25/2014:  04:06:11

eating all that corn and sugar.

It's a long way to Harlan so I

jistgreg - Posted - 06/25/2014:  06:23:00

French-kissed my Darlin'. 

Then I baked some biscuits on my 

OM45GE - Posted - 06/25/2014:  08:29:05

Hasbro Easy Bake Oven.

The last time I used it,

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/25/2014:  08:47:58

I cremated a some cockroaches.

But the mice chewed the cord

OM45GE - Posted - 06/25/2014:  09:33:01

and electrocuted two of them.

The resulting fire

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/25/2014:  14:13:36

sent the rest of the pests scurrying over to my battleaxe neighbour and her wimpy husband.

Well you should have

OM45GE - Posted - 06/25/2014:  15:09:15

warned them they were coming as the wimpy husband was completely unprepared to deal with vermin.

The battleax had long since stopped

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/26/2014:  03:42:31

battleaxing with an ax.

She now uses a Bowie knife and two

OM45GE - Posted - 06/26/2014:  03:49:51

.44 Magnum Smith & Wesson Model 29's just like Dirty Harry's.

Why she needs

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/26/2014:  19:14:20

a sport coat and dress pants like Harry wore is beyond me.



I think her wimpy husband likes it

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/26/2014 19:15:51

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/27/2014:  03:32:21

because it's a "turn-on" for him.

She finally got a job as

OM45GE - Posted - 06/27/2014:  04:57:53

an Elvis impersonator but it didn't last very long.

She was too