Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/01/2014:  14:24:36

thought I was a little strange the way I walked in on my hands and feet straight in the air

the fish lately seem to be

OM45GE - Posted - 10/01/2014:  17:34:33

plotting some sort of insurrection.

I see them grouped together and

Edited by - OM45GE on 10/01/2014 17:34:49

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/02/2014:  02:24:05

Having school.

Yet there is no teacher,so they

oliver james - Posted - 10/02/2014:  05:32:46

dismissed themselves, and went to the Sandbar

all of a sudden someone yelled:

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2014:  06:54:39

"Shark, get out of the water."

This created a whole new problem 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/02/2014:  14:02:44

for The land dwellers

I tried to box up some

OM45GE - Posted - 10/02/2014:  14:44:22

air to send to my friends under water.

Unfortunately,

dat - Posted - 10/02/2014:  15:15:05

the box leaked and dried out the water.

all the boats

MWBailey - Posted - 10/02/2014:  16:07:14

tried to paddle across the dry lake bed.

Unfortunately, the lake monster

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/02/2014:  23:07:27

was in a foul mood because he can't stand drying out.

Too many

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/03/2014:  04:05:18

banjo tunes and not enough drum solos.

It's enough to make any banjo picker

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2014:  06:06:10

feel like king or queen for a day.

Speaking of queens,

jistgreg - Posted - 10/03/2014:  07:33:52

Queen Anne's lace is tasty -- if you're a goat. 

On the other hand, if you ARE a goat, 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2014:  07:42:51

you're probably not reading this.

Unless of course, you are

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/03/2014:  08:25:22

a billy goat that attended pet obedience classes.

The ancient goat language

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2014:  11:10:09

had been deciphered once they discovered that it was in fact a precursor language to Gaelic.

The Irish were not very

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/03/2014:  14:14:59

inclined to boat building back in the day

it ain't rained here is a

dat - Posted - 10/03/2014:  14:18:08

thirsty, so they only ordered beer.

the whisky company

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/03/2014:  15:20:44

put their booze in beer bottles to try cut in on the market.

One of those

OM45GE - Posted - 10/03/2014:  19:14:30

is now a collectors item worth a lot of money.

However, it can't have been

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/04/2014:  03:30:57

proven without first opening the bottle.

That would delete all monitary value,so they

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/04/2014:  04:01:01

performed a light diffraction test on the contents.

Wheel,wouldn't you know it,they

OM45GE - Posted - 10/04/2014:  07:54:38

discovered that it was in fact urine samples from a company drug testing program.

They were thankful

dat - Posted - 10/04/2014:  10:13:35

because they were gonna tan some deer hides and needed all they could get.

the old style of tanning

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/04/2014:  10:33:25

involved P.O.'d tanners,usually with full bladders due to inebriation.

Why they didn't stay in barber school

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/04/2014:  13:35:04

I'll never know. you should see my hair cut

I'll never understand why many

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/05/2014:  03:22:45

old mountain men couldn't read or write.

Some were

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/05/2014:  07:25:23

real smart,but there was too much banjo pickin' to do.

Besides,the schoolhouse

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/05/2014:  15:46:59

was t built till later on

the evending of the fifth

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/05/2014:  16:40:36

day is when we'll re-group.

Be here or

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/05/2014:  17:06:59

we'll send the dobro players out to get you.

They have hound dogs

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2014:  04:24:20

and know how to use them.

Of course, WHAT they use them for is

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/06/2014:  04:51:33

not exactly legal in the USA.

I was putting strings on my ukulele when

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2014:  05:08:34

Tiny Tim appeared before me wearing a white robe with wings and a halo and carrying a golden ukulele.

I asked him what

JohnN - Posted - 10/06/2014:  06:43:07

he would prefer, to put pick the chocolate chips out of the cookies

or to pick

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/06/2014:  08:24:51

iron ore deep in the northern mines.

He became

JohnN - Posted - 10/06/2014:  08:48:21

so confused and disorientated that he took his prized $100,000 1945 Ukulele and shoved it

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2014:  10:16:42

deep into the nearest opening he could find.

Unfortunately, that turned out to be

JohnN - Posted - 10/06/2014:  11:03:12

the exact same place where the Banjo players put their fingers when they're not using them to play their banjos.

Much to the delight of the

MWBailey - Posted - 10/06/2014:  11:43:37

audience, the music critic fell off of the stage.



He plummetted into a pile of warm, fresh

Edited by - MWBailey on 10/06/2014 11:44:13

JohnN - Posted - 10/06/2014:  11:52:53

stuff that Tiny Tim left after playing Shucking the Corn.

I asked his wife why he was called Tiny and all she could say was

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/06/2014:  12:22:05

he is challenged in certain areas.

We're not sure

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2014:  12:55:18

what she meant by that but we suspect it's some private joke between the two of them.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,

JohnN - Posted - 10/06/2014:  14:07:01

We're having a contest... and you're all invited!!!

Whoever can

OM45GE - Posted - 10/06/2014:  16:19:14

carry the most cow pies in his arms will be the winner.

As a prize, we will give

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/06/2014:  19:06:32

the winner a gold plated pitch fork.

Second prize is

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  03:12:00

the used cow pies.

They can be used as

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/07/2014:  05:28:06

frizzbies or place mats on dining room table.

Please "SHUT UP" while the usher explains

OM45GE - Posted - 10/07/2014:  05:28:58

what the specials are today.

He's tried three times to