chuckv97 - Posted - 06/14/2019:  04:24:09

show you the unfortunate dismissal of the word “hogwash”.

Porky Pig and Arnold Ziffel walked into a

OM45GE - Posted - 06/14/2019:  07:25:45

bar and ordered a round for the house.

The bartender said, "Sorry, we don't

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/14/2019:  08:18:17

, in this august establishment, serve cloven-hoofed animals.

My orders are to

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/14/2019:  08:43:34

Not only card you, but eject you from the establishment.


Once outside, you may

OM45GE - Posted - 06/14/2019:  09:57:22

be killed and eaten by the patrons of Big Bubba's BBQ and Tavern next door.

They are quite quick to

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/14/2019:  10:16:12

Turn you on the spit for a few.

After a good drenching

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/14/2019:  10:41:09

Tonto’s loincloth hung like a rag.

Scout decided to run away

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/14/2019:  11:44:14

And join the circus.

There he donned his favorite

Rossanne - Posted - 06/14/2019:  13:16:58

clown costume, posturing next a adult lion he emptied imaginary bucket of water over him..

lion by nature irate & angry,..pointy teeth, his mane spiked up...then...um, um..

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/14/2019:  13:26:08

With an embarrassing ‘ meeooww’, made a slight fool of his bad self.

The tiger, now alerted

OM45GE - Posted - 06/15/2019:  03:39:30

to the fact that the lion was getting paid significantly more than he was, started a hunger strike.

He wasn’t expected to

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/15/2019:  04:55:18

live very long.

So they called Dr. Phil to see if

OM45GE - Posted - 06/15/2019:  06:00:00

he could get an interview done quickly to boost his ratings.

Sadly, the tiger

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/15/2019:  07:11:42

shat on the television production set, and arrogantly strode away.



Dr. Phil wept bitterly

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/15/2019 07:12:41

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/15/2019:  08:16:15

At this new and improved set.

A talk show host dream come

OM45GE - Posted - 06/15/2019:  11:33:16

to an ignominious and bitterly disappointing end.

All seven of Dr. Phil’s fans

Edited by - OM45GE on 06/15/2019 11:33:59

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/15/2019:  12:06:08

Number 1 , 2, 4 & 7 all agreed.

This was way over the top

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/15/2019:  12:44:40

of a ‘57/Chevy ragtop.



If you’re waiting for curbside service at A&W

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/15/2019 12:44:58

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/16/2019:  03:58:36

be sure and order their root beer.

Some say it will

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/16/2019:  10:02:06

take hours before a carhop shows up to ask about your intentions.

When I told her I was love-starved

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/16/2019:  12:29:30

She made me a cabbage float.

This consisted of one

OM45GE - Posted - 06/17/2019:  03:22:18

head of cabbage and seven scoops of pistachio ice cream.

The combination really

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/18/2019:  03:46:42

became a fad for pregnant women..

Once they have tasted it they

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/18/2019:  06:41:15

constantly run to the local soda jerk.

He raised his prices

OM45GE - Posted - 06/18/2019:  11:26:03

and eventually went into hiding.

That only lasted until

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/19/2019:  04:14:09

the women delivered their babies.

Now the women crave

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/19/2019:  06:08:32

big paycheques and bridge games.

My last wife

OM45GE - Posted - 06/19/2019:  08:35:30

wasn't aware that she was going to be my last wife.

She assumed that

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/19/2019:  21:17:49

I would be her last husband.

Her murderous ways

OM45GE - Posted - 06/20/2019:  03:28:28

we’re matched only by her understanding of term life insurance policies.

I’m fairly certain she

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/20/2019:  04:11:30

was in partners with Mack the Knife.

They were planning to

OM45GE - Posted - 06/20/2019:  05:45:11

leave for a tropical getaway as soon as the estate was settled.

Unfortunately, we

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/20/2019:  07:56:06

couldn’t head them off at the pass.

As their private jet taxied

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2019:  03:43:16

down the runway, I’m pretty sure I saw her giving me the one finger salute.



Either that, or she was trying

Edited by - OM45GE on 06/21/2019 03:43:40

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/21/2019:  09:04:02

To actually salute with one finger.

On a clear day you can

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/21/2019:  09:26:40

see the back of your head if you stand on a beer bottle in Kansas and look off into the distance.



My barber has Parkinson’s

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/21/2019 09:27:30

OM45GE - Posted - 06/21/2019:  11:29:10

set of vintage straight razors and wants to give me a shave with them.

However, his hands shake so badly

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 06/22/2019:  07:36:58

You might ask him; why do your hands shake so bad?

The obvious reply will

OM45GE - Posted - 06/22/2019:  10:09:28

be, "They're not shaking - you are."

Surprisingly, I was, in fact,

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/22/2019:  12:41:18

shaking and quaking, fearing for my life.

After the blood quit flowing

OM45GE - Posted - 06/22/2019:  16:12:49

and my ear was packed on ice, we headed to the emergency room.

The doctors said

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/23/2019:  04:38:11

would you prefer to have me sew your head onto your ear?

Yes Dr. Frankenstein,,that would

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/23/2019:  12:02:08

be the cat’s a*s!”, said I.



With that he grabbed his old tomcat Friskie

Edited by - chuckv97 on 06/23/2019 12:03:25

Rossanne - Posted - 06/23/2019:  17:09:32

..too late! Friskie was away an' out the frying pan an' into the fire...

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2019:  03:27:54

where he stayed but a moment before heading to the back alley where he commenced to howling like, well, a scalded cat.

He was soon joined by

banjoscotty - Posted - 06/24/2019:  03:57:17

Sylvester and Snaggletooth.

But that didn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/24/2019:  06:53:54

go well with the Kat-Kartoon Union.

Scalded cats are shunned

OM45GE - Posted - 06/24/2019:  07:22:05

in an apparent attempt to keep cruelty to animals out of the mainstream media.

Given what goes on in cartoons,

chuckv97 - Posted - 06/26/2019:  09:39:29

scalding is a minor issue.

Anvils falling on heads