Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/19/2014:  18:41:40

to constructive criticism

The last banjo picker I talked to was from Florida and

OM45GE - Posted - 02/19/2014:  18:43:33

he was really a guitarist who also played banjo. 

He also raised

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/19/2014:  18:59:45

cain back in his younger days.

The small jar on top is

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/19/2014:  19:01:57

is for tips,and I mean coins,not asparagus.

Last Saturday some joker put in

OM45GE - Posted - 02/19/2014:  19:04:21

several spears of asparagus. 

He had the nerve to ask

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/19/2014:  20:27:58

if he could have his change in cauliflower.

I told him sure thing if he would

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/19/2014:  21:44:34

dress up as a monkey and hold a tin cup.

I've gotta find a real job

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  03:18:36

because these gigs are driving me crazy.

I wonder if I could get paid to

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/20/2014:  04:28:32

roadie the band instead of playing in it? It might sound better too.

BYOB means,

drew-gurbach - Posted - 02/20/2014:  07:09:10

Bang your own Banjo.

Also, BOGO means...

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  07:44:31

a city in the Philippines.

The stores there frequently have sales where you can get

RandyZ - Posted - 02/20/2014:  07:47:37

a shampoo, rinse, and a stick of garlic gum.

besides all that, they also carry....

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  08:02:15

surplus Navy aircraft carriers and submarines.

They make excellent

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  08:04:22

door stops

Went fishing and caught

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  08:23:57

a cold.

It didn't make much of a meal, but it was

drew-gurbach - Posted - 02/20/2014:  08:43:52

full of mucus. So making soup always...

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  08:48:16

eats up a lot of time.

I'd rather use ketchup in hot water

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/20/2014:  08:52:36

than load my glue gun with pickled okra slime.

Oatmeal makes good

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  08:58:16

drywall material.

I's also beneficial for 

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  09:53:54

those mornings when nothing else will fill you up.

Like the other day when I

jistgreg - Posted - 02/20/2014:  10:31:43

ate joint compound to ease my achin' joints. 

It was tasty 

RandyZ - Posted - 02/20/2014:  11:20:01

yet the hole in the ceiling seemed bigger than ever.

This saddened me, because i just finished patching the rear fender ...

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  11:21:32

when the joint got raided.

Seems it's illegal to

Edited by - chuckv97 on 02/20/2014 11:22:31

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  11:39:50

to smoke a joint while using joint compound for aching joints in a juke joint.

I tried to explain that

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/20/2014:  12:07:42

to Judge Judy but she said she didn't have time for it on a 30 minute TV show full of commercials and besides that she was like being totally irrational that day to boot.

There wasn't a snowball's chance in

RandyZ - Posted - 02/20/2014:  12:57:13

a broken freezer to please her.


"SHUT UP SIR!...she barked across the room, causing me to....

drew-gurbach - Posted - 02/20/2014:  13:48:04

Vomit profusely all over her bench.

Luckily, I had a great big….

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  14:04:09

box of chocolates.

I gave them to Judge Judy and she

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/20/2014:  14:19:45

lit in to 'em like a fat sow at a slop trough full of fresh swill.

Fact is If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  15:48:11

it would have never goten off the ground in the first place

I rode hard the first day out

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  15:48:40

I wouldn't have believed it at all. 

She just kept going

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/20/2014:  16:25:52

and going and going just like the Energizer Bunny.

As was mentioned earlier, he rode hard the first day out

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  16:30:13

on bail,heading for the Quebec border.

A raging blizzard

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  17:17:40

had closed all the roads. 

So he had to

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/20/2014:  17:32:04

travel over hill and dale.

Which of you would like to

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  17:42:10

help Scotty and me pack the mules because we are going to have go this one on foot across the border to the wilderness

By the time we get

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  17:45:13

to Phoenix she'll be waking. 

Oh wait, that's a different

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  17:48:09

song and story that doesn't pertain to this one

The wilderness crossing was one

OM45GE - Posted - 02/20/2014:  17:55:04

that will be told in its own song. 

In fact, I may just

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  18:51:18

compose one late tonight. I will give all friends a copy.

When I walked the Appalachian Trail I

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/20/2014:  19:43:46

barely had time to keep my lemonade concession business operating that summer.

I soon learned that if

 

RandyZ - Posted - 02/20/2014:  19:49:02

If you build a lemonade stand.....they will come. After scraping the gum from my right boot, I...

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/20/2014:  19:54:12

immediately kicked down another spruce tree and, you guessed it, i had to scrape off another big wad of gum.

By then this routine was starting to get on my nerves

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  20:10:12

so I pulled my shoes off and solved the problem. Gummey- bares and sold them to passer- byers

To be safe the next time I

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  21:12:40

will wear my gum boots,that I bought from a Maine fisherman.

But once you get them on

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/20/2014:  21:14:15

will wear my gum boots,that I bought from a Maine fisherman.

But once you get them on

OM45GE - Posted - 02/21/2014:  02:16:32

be careful where you wear them. 

Some stores don't 

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/21/2014:  06:08:24

rotate their stock regularly so all the little heifers end up as irregulars at the bottom of the stockpile.

If there's one thing

OM45GE - Posted - 02/21/2014:  06:09:44

I hate, it's shopworn cattle.

They get all wrinkled and