jacot23 - Posted - 07/30/2020:  20:38:14

salty peanuts and whether they were better with RC Cola or Mountain Dew.

The answer of course is...

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2020:  03:31:07

beer.

They were delighted to learn that

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  08:31:42

Lisa Douglas has a micro brewery going in the back shed.

Her Hungarian heritage

xmark - Posted - 07/31/2020:  09:44:59

coming in handy, since she was quite familiar with it's health benefits and healing properties.

She knew, for example, that if one was suffering from

Edited by - xmark on 07/31/2020 09:51:25

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2020:  10:46:21

excessive shyness, a couple of English ales would loosen the tongue.

In fact, it sometimes

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  10:48:59

loosens the bowels.

Grim Jim’s toilets

OM45GE - Posted - 07/31/2020:  10:52:42

were why it was called “Grim” Jim’s.

They were so disgusting

jacot23 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  11:19:07

even the dog wouldn't drink from them.

But hey, at least...

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  11:21:27

you could get plastered and not care.

Jim put up a sign

jacot23 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  18:58:11

please flush to help control the odor.


It doesn't...

xmark - Posted - 07/31/2020:  19:48:44

but if enough ale is consumed along the way, one doesn't mind so much.

Of course reading abilities are hampered as well when

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  20:10:29

eyes are puffed and swollen from bar brawls.

Last week Jim had to

jacot23 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  20:50:54

break up 11 fights.

That's not even counting...

chuckv97 - Posted - 07/31/2020:  22:43:17

the ones between his wife and his mother.

Jim’s often thought of selling the joint

OM45GE - Posted - 08/01/2020:  03:06:34

but a realtor told him he would have to pay someone to take it off his hands.

Also, the hazmat remediation would

jacot23 - Posted - 08/01/2020:  13:54:46

cost more than simply burning it down and building new.


He should probably...

OM45GE - Posted - 08/01/2020:  17:44:07

convert the place to a donut shop.

It would be less

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/01/2020:  17:58:28

taxing on the the knuckles and nerves.

He could then hobnob

xmark - Posted - 08/01/2020:  18:50:37

with those who are really rolling in the dough.

Another benefit would be

jacot23 - Posted - 08/01/2020:  19:32:06

free police protection.


And of course...

OM45GE - Posted - 08/03/2020:  03:05:08

there are the donut groupies.

They will come waddling in

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/03/2020:  09:04:14

with their insulin pumps and packets of stevia sweetener.

They demand gluten-free crullers

OM45GE - Posted - 08/03/2020:  11:42:58

but then proceeded to eat a baker’s dozen of them.

They also drink several

jacot23 - Posted - 08/04/2020:  03:38:57

cups of extra sweetened espresso.


If they knew how often the machine was cleaned...

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2020:  03:56:00

their taste buds would go south.

I heard Starbucks is a front

OM45GE - Posted - 08/04/2020:  05:13:22

for a Seattle based punk band.

Their goal is to

xmark - Posted - 08/04/2020:  09:42:53

apply a whipped cream mustache to every patron.

Additionally to play music throughout the store containing subliminal messages

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2020:  09:58:27

concerning the overthrow of governments by banjo-wielding foreigners.

They’ve even recruited my galpal

OM45GE - Posted - 08/04/2020:  12:38:27

“G-String Annie”.



She’s locally well known for her

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/04/2020 12:38:46

xmark - Posted - 08/04/2020:  20:22:44

unusual multi-tasking abilities while also performing a G-lick...on the banjo.

She's also an accomplished

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/04/2020:  20:23:56

pole dancer from The Warsaw Dance Academy.

The last Pole she danced with

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2020:  02:52:02

was locally famous for his award winning kielbasa.

He prepares them

xmark - Posted - 08/05/2020:  09:19:50

in a method steeped in tradition.

It involves the use of soaking in a large tub of beer

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2020:  11:11:02

while the kielbasas are grilled slowly on a wood fired hibachi.

While he’s soaking,

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/05/2020:  11:22:27

he reads “The Rise and Fall of the Polish Empire”.

His arteries are clogged

OM45GE - Posted - 08/05/2020:  17:55:00

but his mind is clear.

His conscience, on the other hand,

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/05/2020:  18:31:12

is riddled with guilt.

His granny ate one of his sausages and keeled over

OM45GE - Posted - 08/06/2020:  03:36:09

dead with a whimper, and a puff of talcum powder as she hit the ground.

She wasn’t

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 08/06/2020:  07:07:09

ready to end her vegetarian lifestyle.

Oddly, all the carnivores there felt justified

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/06/2020:  08:18:20

eating bacon at her wake.

“Fat is where it’s at“

OM45GE - Posted - 08/06/2020:  08:54:36

was their mantra.



Not exactly words to live by, but

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/06/2020 08:55:01

xmark - Posted - 08/06/2020:  09:21:06

if the pork chop fits on your plate, then eat it.

Preferably dredged in an egg wash, coated in bread crumbs, deep fried, and then covered

jacot23 - Posted - 08/06/2020:  09:41:07

with white gravy.

Anything less would be...

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/06/2020:  09:43:11

tantamount to heresy.

Speaking of gravy

OM45GE - Posted - 08/06/2020:  13:02:29

, some people call spaghetti sauce “gravy”.

That confuses the hell out me because

xmark - Posted - 08/07/2020:  09:40:45

I normally think of gravy as a topping in addition to the star ingredient in a dish, and to me the noodles are not the star of the dish.

My wife disagrees of course, and she says

jacot23 - Posted - 08/07/2020:  10:23:11

the noodles are the best part.

I know, I know its best to..

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/07/2020:  10:28:49

agree with your bride at all...err, most times.

The exception would be

OM45GE - Posted - 08/07/2020:  12:48:03

when she says, “These pants make my ass look big don’t they?”

That’s not something