chuckv97 - Posted - 09/15/2021:  18:26:25

reality smacks me in the face.

Mom said there’d be days

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2021:  03:24:56

like these, but I don’t know which days “these days” were.

She wasn’t very clear

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/16/2021:  10:05:19

after her lobotomy and she mostly just mumbled “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy".



Her man-friend

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 09/16/2021 10:06:52

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/16/2021:  16:16:16

tried convincing her to not to mumble so much but didn't have very much luck.

Seems to me

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/16/2021:  17:04:49

he wasn’t exactly speaking perfect diction according to Mrs. Lindsay’s rules and guidelines.

He often muttered under his breath

OM45GE - Posted - 09/16/2021:  17:17:03

leaving a cloud of stale booze and cigarettes.

It wasn’t exactly

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/17/2021:  07:01:50

a scene from an Emily Post “How To” etiquette video.

The up side

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2021:  09:35:12

was that he didn’t need to keep track of a lot of friends.

In fact, he

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/17/2021:  12:42:07

only had two friends and they were his other screen names.

He often

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/17/2021:  13:05:44

went by “Calamity Clem” when entering the annual parade celebrating “Death Valley Days”.

His float

OM45GE - Posted - 09/17/2021:  17:41:36

was his 1974 Chevy pickup.

It was a rattletrap, but

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/18/2021:  09:59:42

still managed to run really well.

In his younger days he

OM45GE - Posted - 09/18/2021:  11:54:53

imagined that he was a Formula 1 race driver.

That led to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/18/2021:  12:30:40

rapid-fire feelings of consternation

OM45GE - Posted - 09/18/2021:  17:24:25

and disorientation leading to posting in the wrong game.

However, we’ve all done it and

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/18/2021:  21:23:45

paid a dear price for our transgressions.

Twenty days of solitary confinement

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/18/2021:  22:54:05

was what they gave a guy back in my day.

These days they

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/19/2021:  08:31:44

are certainly more lenient with penalties but spare no attempt to shame transgressors into submission.

Oh well,

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2021:  11:24:45

it’s all milk under the bridge and no sense crying over spilled water.

Lately I’ve been having trouble

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2021:  11:40:53

mixing up witty sayings.

It may be a symptom

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/19/2021:  17:18:33

of Old-timers Disease.

Or

OM45GE - Posted - 09/19/2021:  17:36:06

an attempt at wry humor.

If it is, it’s

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/19/2021:  18:05:09

falling flat with the BHO incrowd.

Yesterday I bought a manhole cover

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/19/2021:  18:34:24

and was considering using it for a boat anchor.

Most likely

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2021:  03:15:08

it will end up sitting in my front yard with the unregistered cars and broke appliances.

My neighbors

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/20/2021:  11:24:43

suggested I sell it to mobsters looking to send an unfortunate soul to the bottom of the East River.

As much

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/20/2021:  11:43:03

as I detest mobsters , I need the money.

I forgot about my wife’s recently acquired shopaholic syndrome

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2021:  12:16:16

until I opened the credit card bill.

I don’t earn

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/20/2021:  14:43:59

much respect when it comes to my inclination to being bossy.

It’s my way

OM45GE - Posted - 09/20/2021:  15:35:33

of asserting my independence.

Unfortunately, my wife

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/20/2021:  18:02:00

don't give much thought to my independent nature.

She thinks I

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2021:  02:53:08

am a complete idiot and isn’t shy about present evidence to support her opinion.

There’s no use

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/21/2021:  04:59:22

for my wall phone so I’ve had it removed.

It was

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2021:  08:09:11

gathering dust for the last few years.

My senile Uncle Ferd took it home

KyBanjo - Posted - 09/21/2021:  13:01:46

and mounted it on the arm of his Lazyboy.

He is still waiting

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2021:  13:20:58

for someone to call.

He’s going to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/21/2021:  13:56:18

call up Eddie Gormé because he thinks she has a cooking show on TV.

I told

OM45GE - Posted - 09/21/2021:  17:09:59

to study his French but he thought I was talking about kissing.

His mind is truly

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/21/2021:  18:11:09

an image of Swiss cheese.

Sometimes

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/21/2021:  19:59:52

I wonder if he’s aware of Aunt Phoebe’s roving eye.

She calls the mailman

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2021:  03:27:29

whenever she needs a special delivery.

He’s happy to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/22/2021:  05:18:20

examine her parcel to see how well it’s packaged and then provide “Special Re-wrapping” services.



Once

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 09/22/2021 05:21:20

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2021:  08:31:25

she asked him to wear one of those fancy pith helmets.

She said it made him look

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2021:  09:44:49

debonair and handsome, even with his worn out mail bag.

She likes to wear

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2021:  12:05:57

his mail bag over a wet t-shirt.

It accentuates her

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/22/2021:  12:54:33

high points while concealing her tube of excess belly flab.

Apparently

OM45GE - Posted - 09/22/2021:  16:50:24

the postal service disapproves of this sort of behavior.

In fact,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 09/22/2021:  17:21:24

the price of postage continues to escalate.

I wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/22/2021:  17:53:35

if Phoebe and her beau will run off to join the circus.

They could entertain