chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2016:  18:13:10

country song from the happier past so she cheered up and ate some Cheerios.

Most blues are temporary

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2016:  19:24:16

in nature, but that doesn't make them any less unpleasant. 

I like to drown my blues in

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2016:  20:27:00

ketchup and maple syrup, a sure remedy to forget your troubles.

I quit drinking

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2016:  04:56:01

non-alcoholic beverages about six years ago, which I'm sure were excellent years but I don't really remember them. 

I'm hoping someone will

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/20/2016:  17:00:35

come along and refresh my memory.

But untill then I'll just

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2016:  20:19:19

stay drunk 'til the cows come home, which could be a while cuz I accidentally set my barn on fire yesterday.

The fire chief took one

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/21/2016:  02:53:51

look at it and said good,,,now burn the house.

And so Wilmer,(that's my uncle),started

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2016:  03:38:12

piling kindling around the house and sent my nephew to get some gasoline. 

I hope

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/21/2016:  10:15:27

the cockroaches and mice and other nasty vermin move over to the battleax's place next door.

She tried cutting my grass

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/22/2016:  02:20:47

with the hair clippers .

But they were too

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2016:  03:11:52

small for the job and she gave up after 15 minutes. 

I wouldn't like to call her a quitter, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2016:  05:56:35

rather an idiot with ingrown chin hairs.

Her petrified dog

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2016:  06:15:02

has been propped on 

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2016:  06:21:26

on all fours , because words can't describe his former horrid existence.

Four, fore ,and for are

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2016:  06:23:33

homophones, and whenever I say that, someone is sure to start giggling.

That says more about their

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2016:  13:10:36

derivation than their instigation, their salvation being on the MOT reservation..("mot" being the French word for "word").

My brain synapses are misfiring

OM45GE - Posted - 08/22/2016:  14:09:35

and the few remaining neurons have to call each other long-distance.

I think it might be the result of al the

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/22/2016:  18:04:42

foreign substances people would put into my drinks at the jailhouse dances years ago.

They told me my time was up

OM45GE - Posted - 08/23/2016:  02:56:11

time after time, but every time they did, they were tricking me. 

When my time was really up

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/23/2016:  03:29:54

the rest of me was wayyy down.

None the less,,I survived this years

OM45GE - Posted - 08/23/2016:  10:33:01

company summer party, but I don't remember much of it.

My coworkers keep referring to "the incident" but I

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/23/2016:  20:13:49

claimed total innocence on the grounds of amnesia.

The boss's wife

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/24/2016:  02:04:34

has the same problem??

She said she wants to

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2016:  02:46:38

meet me at the No-Tell Motel. 

The last time

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/24/2016:  08:18:01

we went there I drove my wife's car so nobody would raise a hairy eyeball.

Rumo(u)rs circulated that

BanjoClive - Posted - 08/24/2016:  10:33:23

she kissed my brother.

Too bad I dont

OM45GE - Posted - 08/24/2016:  12:26:14

have a brother for her to kiss.

Perhaps they saw her kissing my

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/24/2016:  13:10:33

stunt double, Rance, who is an expert at roping heifers.

Why, I oughtta

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/25/2016:  01:53:51

go now to the barber..

Every time she tries that it flips

OM45GE - Posted - 08/25/2016:  03:06:41

the onlookers out. 

They can't believe she can

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/25/2016:  08:55:56

wolf down a 3foot high stack of pancakes in 1 minute.

Speaking of wolves,

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/25/2016:  10:51:54

Does anyone want to go hunting tonight?

283's rifles work good but

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/25/2016:  11:55:19

my '63 Chevy with a 283 and my high-powered Spotlight can run'em down out on the back roads.

Wolves without dens

OM45GE - Posted - 08/26/2016:  02:50:42

are often known as lone wolves. 

They still like to

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/27/2016:  06:59:29

howl with the pack..

Barbara Stanwick was one of the

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/27/2016:  08:50:39

gals Ron Reagan was flirting with back in the '40's.

She never thought he'd become

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2016:  09:46:58

a successful actor, let alone the President of the United States. 

It just goes to show

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/27/2016:  15:23:32

- show business can lead to strange bedfellows.

If you fell out of bed

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/28/2016:  01:52:16

would you wake up?

It really doesn't make

OM45GE - Posted - 08/28/2016:  03:46:07

a lot of sense to wake someone up to give them a sleeping pill.

I wonder why

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/28/2016:  06:50:01

white bucks fell out of favour with the high school in-crowd.

Albino deer are

OM45GE - Posted - 08/28/2016:  06:52:34

not that common but they travel in pairs so the does are known to do it for a couple bucks. 

The rest of

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/28/2016:  07:18:34

the story shall not be told to children ,despite their affection for Bambi.

Recess bells

OM45GE - Posted - 08/29/2016:  02:46:43

are always welcome. 

They provide a respite from

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/29/2016:  02:50:33

all those heartless,cruel,and strict teachers.

But they also

OM45GE - Posted - 08/29/2016:  03:08:44

gained a solid educational foundation that will serve them well throughout their lives. 

They don't

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/29/2016:  07:52:43

teach the three "R"'s any more because pupils with harelips can't pronounce them.

I've seldom been politically correct

banjoscotty - Posted - 08/30/2016:  02:30:52

but I'm usually right.

I never thought it would

OM45GE - Posted - 08/30/2016:  03:09:23

be so difficult to convince the rest of the world of my infallibility. 

Perhaps my first mistake was