banjoscotty - Posted - 04/28/2017:  02:46:01

buy some dandruff shampoo.

Karl Marx was once

OM45GE - Posted - 04/28/2017:  02:49:25

considering joining the Marx Bothers to make a movie about the Russian Revolution. 

He eventually decided 

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/28/2017:  07:06:20

to not make himself public.

But he isn't always

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/28/2017:  09:41:25

thought of in high regard in CEO circles.

His idea of a good time

OM45GE - Posted - 04/28/2017:  11:58:00

often involves getting blazingly drunk and cavorting with women of ill repute.

He says my mother is 

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/28/2017:  20:30:33

a reformed street walker who was reputed to be easy but not cheap.

Today I saw a '62 "B" Mack chugging down the highway

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/29/2017:  04:22:43

but someone had stolen the "bulldog".

I have 3 of them and

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2017:  05:00:35

never pass an opportunity to steal one. 

You do have to

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/29/2017:  06:46:23

be very quiet during those times..

Now don't try to drive one of those quadriplex's before

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2017:  11:55:28

you've had lots of training and practice as shifting two sticks and steering at the same time can be tricky.

I knew a driver that hooked his left arm through the steering wheel and

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2017:  11:58:19

hit a big pothole leaving his arm a sorry mess.

Just put'er in cruise and leave your feet up on the dash

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2017:  12:03:49

so you can hold the steering wheel with your knees leaving your hands free to hold the beer.

You have to watch for

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2017:  19:19:02

quote:

---

Originally posted by OM45GE

 

you've had lots of training and practice as shifting two sticks and steering at the same time can be tricky.

I knew a driver that hooked his left arm through the steering wheel and

---

youtu.be/P6pWCKY_qJo

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2017:  19:23:29

scale house DOT agents with binoculars.

They will take your beer

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/30/2017:  13:40:15

and your woman!

They are very low

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2017:  13:45:13

Boy, does that bring back memories!  

party like there's no tomorrow without so much as a thank you for your troubles. 

If you say anything 

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/01/2017:  01:08:32

they'll hand you over to Blackjack Pete and his henchmen.

Their sadistic minds

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/01/2017:  02:48:35

are twisted worse than a pretzel.

Get your head on straight and then

OM45GE - Posted - 05/01/2017:  03:36:34

head on over to your proctologist' office. 

It's time for your

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/01/2017:  09:36:46

annual "head-out-of-rectum" extraction procedure.

A good dose of humility

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/01/2017:  11:18:27

is good for all apes.

I haven't eaten anything since

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/02/2017:  14:53:33

the CARE planes flew over and air dropped some chicken chow mein.

What I really crave

OM45GE - Posted - 05/03/2017:  02:42:48

is a plate of steaming haggis and a pint of ale. 

I may have to

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/03/2017:  02:47:49

go to Sam & Joe's to get it..

At the least it's very

OM45GE - Posted - 05/03/2017:  03:00:10

likely that I can get a cheeseburger if they don't have haggis. 

I hope they do though, because 

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/03/2017:  04:37:01

I joined ancestry.com and I found out I'm not Lithuanian at all, but 98% Scottish.

My new kilt

OM45GE - Posted - 05/03/2017:  04:49:55

quote:

---

Originally posted by chuckv97

 

I joined ancestry.com and I found out I'm not Lithuanian at all, but 98% Scottish.



My new kilt

 

---

needs to be lengthened or I won't be able to wear it out in public.

It's one problem with being

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/03/2017:  06:30:01

a cross dresser.

Always wear your panties when

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/03/2017:  06:34:11

attending the "Burn-Your-Bra" protest on the Mayor's front lawn.

It seems women are getting

OM45GE - Posted - 05/03/2017:  13:23:02

second degree burns from the enormous foundation garment conflagrations.

Recently one fire got out of control and

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/05/2017:  09:27:06

scorched her pretty bad.

She was very lucky that

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/05/2017:  12:18:49

Cliff the fireman was in attendance with a truck fulll of swamp water.

Cliff enjoys flirting

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/05/2017:  15:12:53

when his wife isn't around.

One time he was flirting with a movie star and

OM45GE - Posted - 05/05/2017:  15:27:21

and thought things were going pretty well until the police showed up.

It turns out that "Get away from me you creep" wasn't

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/05/2017:  16:11:59

an invitation for Cliff to grope and grab.

Sgt. O'Hara took Cliff back to the fire hall

OM45GE - Posted - 05/05/2017:  18:44:37

where they made him strip naked and slide down the fire pole while.

Cliff thought it was fun until 

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/05/2017:  20:07:14

the Mayor and his entourage stopped by for a surprise inspection.

Next thing you know

MWBailey - Posted - 05/05/2017:  23:34:12

, The pole was superglued

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/06/2017:  03:09:01

and they put the mayor's wife on it..

She didn't slide very far down till

OM45GE - Posted - 05/06/2017:  04:29:28

the glue set and she hung there like a beached hippo. 

The firemen wanted to leave her there but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/06/2017:  07:24:27

the mayor had pink slips ready.

So they donned

OM45GE - Posted - 05/06/2017:  07:30:04

their protective gear and called a press conference.

When the reporters had gathered

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/06/2017:  07:36:10

they were each issued a pink slip with embroidered edges.

The party soon spiraled down into

OM45GE - Posted - 05/06/2017:  08:18:46

the fire station basement where they kept the really interesting toys.

These included

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/06/2017:  14:06:47

whips, chains, and lengths of fire hose.

Reporters, Mayoral staff and fireman then became hopelessly entangled

OM45GE - Posted - 05/06/2017:  17:19:40

in a vicious web of deceit as they tried to cover up their depraved behavior in the fire station basement.

They met regularly and

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/07/2017:  14:36:04

soon were all getting penicillin injections.

The scandal reached the ears of

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/07/2017:  14:42:15

Barnicle Bill the Sailor.

And much to their surprise he

OM45GE - Posted - 05/07/2017:  15:11:09

lectured them on safe sex. 

Where he learned about this