OM45GE - Posted - 11/08/2020:  11:59:39

will be served along with potato salad.

There will also be

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/08/2020:  13:38:27

a Gypsy camp on site, replete with Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves.

Every night when the sun goes down

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/08/2020:  14:58:51

I hang my head and mournful cry.



My phobias are catching up to me

youtu.be/JhZQNYpUe7w

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/08/2020 15:02:00

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/08/2020:  16:20:43

because I’m a slow driver and my neighbors, the Phobias, have a fast car.

Phil Phobia works

OM45GE - Posted - 11/09/2020:  03:23:06

fearfully to face his demons.

They haunt his every

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/09/2020:  07:34:09

step, every mile, and every waking hour.

Phil’s wife rides shotgun

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/09/2020:  09:44:36

when no one is home.



It’s a strange habit 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/09/2020 09:45:41

OM45GE - Posted - 11/10/2020:  03:49:59

but what Phil doesn’t know won’t hurt him and the shotgun doesn’t seem to mind.

Phil does wonder why

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/10/2020:  05:35:19

the gun barrel is shiny and there is a worn patch of blueing.

But he figures

OM45GE - Posted - 11/10/2020:  05:46:48

it adds to the character of the gun.

He looked up “patina” in the OED and

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/10/2020:  06:09:23

came away befuddled.

Phil’s IQ, unfortunately, is in the negative

J e f f - Posted - 11/10/2020:  16:50:17

side of the scale.

However, his low score doesn't seem to affect

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/10/2020:  17:49:11

his ability to make a decent living.

Proceeds from his moonshine

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/10/2020:  18:03:21

still are a secret in his neck of the woods.

During full moons he drives his Olds Cutlass

OM45GE - Posted - 11/11/2020:  03:45:27

down the dirt rod to his still.

He knows the way so well that he doesn’t

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/11/2020:  12:34:34

have his vehicle lights on but he always wears his seatbelt.

In the trunk of the Oldsmobile

OM45GE - Posted - 11/11/2020:  12:37:16

are a large number of Mason Jars.

He’s planning to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/11/2020:  12:46:09

learn how to count one day so that he knows how many jars he actually has.



Having that information 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/11/2020 12:48:18

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/11/2020:  14:58:09

he can tell his wife to calculate how many quarts to run off per week.

His wife, Betty Lou, spent 4 years in grade 5

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/11/2020:  17:29:35

along with her pappy who was in the same grade.

Her brother Junior

OM45GE - Posted - 11/12/2020:  03:16:12

was named the class valedictorian after learning most of the alphabet in less than two years.

Her younger sister was studying for her pregnancy test and

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2020:  07:38:01

failed miserably 3 times.

She joined a traveling circus

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/12/2020:  08:18:26

demonstrating her ability to assemble in ten minutes, puzzles that say 2-5 years.

She also worked

OM45GE - Posted - 11/12/2020:  12:29:30

briefly as a spokesmodel for Bubba’s used car lot and repo yard.

Their motto was

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2020:  12:57:57

“You Snooze, You Lose”.

Bubba sells Ford Pintos

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/12/2020:  14:20:18

, Chevy Chevettes, most pre-seatbelt import vehicles, and used Astro Turf with a good selection of colors on hand but in limited quantities.



Bubba’s son Bub Jr, III

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/12/2020 14:27:52

J e f f - Posted - 11/12/2020:  15:08:59

use to own a tea cup factory in Toledo.

The factory closed because

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/12/2020:  15:56:24

there was not enough demand anymore.

They were bought out by

OM45GE - Posted - 11/12/2020:  16:09:00

a group of avaricious venture capitalists.

They promptly

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2020:  16:35:47

dumped the firm on some Chinese businessmen who always quoted the price of tea daily on their website.

Oolong tea

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/12/2020:  16:48:29

was last seen on a tall sail ship docked in Boston harbor.

Seems some of the locals

OM45GE - Posted - 11/12/2020:  17:30:00

felt they were being unfairly taxed.

They were so upset that they

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/12/2020:  17:35:28

hired some Hekauwee Indians to heave the oolong into the feces-infested waters.



The only brew that an Indian will drink

Edited by - chuckv97 on 11/12/2020 17:36:05

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/12/2020:  18:35:29

is Miller Light with a three finger KY-Wickey chaser.



Chief Dan George liked

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/12/2020 18:37:42

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2020:  03:02:34

shatter widely held stereotypes.

For example, he almost never

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/13/2020:  06:13:32

said “How”.

He rode mustangs instead of pintos

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2020:  06:36:55

and prefers gabardine to buckskin.

The last time he

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/13/2020:  10:29:40

said “Endevor to Persevere” was in the movie Outlaw Josie Wales. 

 

He hooked up with a good looking 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/13/2020 10:31:34

OM45GE - Posted - 11/13/2020:  12:45:02

foley artist who was dubbing in some realistic war whoops.

He was trying to explain

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/13/2020:  14:04:16

his war paint to the local police, notably Sgt. O’Hara.

The good-natured Sarge

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/13/2020:  17:48:47

stopped the interview because it was lunch time.

They ordered burgers and

OM45GE - Posted - 11/14/2020:  03:30:22

chocolate shakes with a large order of fries.

They both knew it wasn’t health food, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/14/2020:  08:21:54

neither was the Canadian Club whisky they quaffed soon after.

At midnight they were spotted

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/14/2020:  09:28:03

with blood sucking leeches stuck to their skin after drunkenly skinny dipping in the river behind the sewer plant.



To get the leeches off

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 11/14/2020 09:29:20

OM45GE - Posted - 11/16/2020:  03:47:31

they went to the local DPW garage and rolled on the road salt pile.

The next morning they were found

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 11/16/2020:  05:04:58

scattered along a local highway in freshly fallen snow, shriveled beyond recognition.

Local authorities

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/16/2020:  08:15:28

hired a small crew to pitch fork their sorry-looking carcasses into pine boxes.

The funeral turned into a drunken brawl

OM45GE - Posted - 11/16/2020:  12:13:12

which was the highlight of everyone’s social calendar.

They hoped

KyBanjo - Posted - 11/16/2020:  15:59:26

that things would get better soon.

A few days later