jacot23 - Posted - 08/26/2020:  05:35:54

making fun of them.

They will report you to...

OM45GE - Posted - 08/26/2020:  05:41:39

the American Indian Movement.



They will take aim

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/26/2020 05:41:53

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/26/2020:  07:53:41

with a sharp-pointed arrow or Ed Ames’ tomahawk.

Yesterday I strayed off the reservation

OM45GE - Posted - 08/26/2020:  08:04:16

and promptly got completely lost.

My sense of direction is

xmark - Posted - 08/26/2020:  09:28:29

not what it used to be.

For example, the other day I was driving home

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/26/2020:  09:52:25

and drove off the end of the harbo(u)r pier.

Not to worry, though

jacot23 - Posted - 08/26/2020:  11:15:11

I know how to swim and had full coverage on the truck.

I'll be getting a nice...

OM45GE - Posted - 08/26/2020:  15:33:40

check from the insurance companies company and there’s talk about a TV special.



I don’t know who

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/26/2020 15:33:55

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/26/2020:  15:39:01

will play my part but I hope he’s in tune.

Banjos make poor anchors

jacot23 - Posted - 08/26/2020:  20:27:26

and they don't work real well as a paddle either.


Don't ask me how...

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2020:  03:53:05

I know this but don’t believe everything you hear about the Muddy Creek event.

It was not as

jacot23 - Posted - 08/27/2020:  04:49:37

much fun as has been reported.

As a matter of fact...

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/27/2020:  05:33:13

I’m still suffering from swimmer’s ear.

But we shall sally forth

xmark - Posted - 08/27/2020:  09:36:16

or was it Sally Ann...or maybe Sally Goodin?

No matter...

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2020:  14:11:30

we will just call her "Hey You!"

That way

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/27/2020:  14:45:53

we can get any woman’s attention in Grim Jim’s Bar & Grille.

This morning I put my mailman in a headlock

OM45GE - Posted - 08/27/2020:  17:16:29

and demanded that he stop reading my mail.

He said that the warden was the one who

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/29/2020:  09:28:36

was opening all my mail.

That explained the drool

xmark - Posted - 08/29/2020:  11:59:22

stains on the contents.

I recognized the patterns from my pillow and

OM45GE - Posted - 08/29/2020:  12:25:01

and put two and two together.

It was the warden who had

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/29/2020:  13:30:52

extorted money from my mistress in Buffalo.

That’s the last time

OM45GE - Posted - 08/29/2020:  18:03:03

I saw either her or the money.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of

jacot23 - Posted - 08/29/2020:  18:12:43

pornographic photos of the Warden and his favorite jailbirds.

Sure do wish...

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/29/2020:  18:48:46

I could sell them to the National Inquirer.

Then I could quit sleeping

xmark - Posted - 08/29/2020:  19:23:05

in a cardboard box.

Easy come, easy go, I guess...but next I'm going to

OM45GE - Posted - 08/30/2020:  05:41:34

find a competent financial planner about investing my life savings.

Hopefully fifty seven dollars and sixty four cents

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/30/2020:  07:01:36

with compound interest will garner me a handsome sum.

I’m planning my retirement

OM45GE - Posted - 08/31/2020:  06:59:10

now while I’ve still got a couple of years to save up.

There are a lot of things

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/31/2020:  08:11:33

on my wish list.

The least of these is

OM45GE - Posted - 08/31/2020:  15:40:17

actually the most important for sentimental reasons.

My wish is that

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/31/2020:  16:06:16

I dig my own grave.

I rather picky

OM45GE - Posted - 08/31/2020:  16:44:06

when it comes to holes.

Some may even say that I

jacot23 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  03:36:45

take it a little too far.

Grandpa always said, "Son when you get in over your head"...

OM45GE - Posted - 09/02/2020:  03:52:40

stop digging.

He didn’t take his own advice

jacot23 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  04:21:49

once and the hole he was digging caved in.

It took 5 guys and

OM45GE - Posted - 09/02/2020:  05:38:55

couple of spectators to tell him he was a fool.

He accepted the criticism gracefully but

jacot23 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  06:14:05

still digs holes way too deep.

The good thing is...

OM45GE - Posted - 09/02/2020:  07:08:23

he’s getting paid by the shovelful.

Unfortunately, the shovel is

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  07:39:47

3 feet wide and one foot deep.

He used to be called the “human backhoe”

OM45GE - Posted - 09/02/2020:  07:57:49

but his wife just called him “John Deere”.

He called her

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  08:01:54

“Massive Ferguson” but she made him sleep on the couch for that put down.

She eats lemon meringue pies

OM45GE - Posted - 09/02/2020:  08:05:23

several times a day.

It’s not a healthy diet, but

jacot23 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  08:10:32

it sure is good!


Speaking of good, I've a key lime pie...

OM45GE - Posted - 09/02/2020:  10:51:57

sitting right in front of me with my name on it.

It’s covered in whipped cream and

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  11:21:20

and only has 5,000 calories.

WalMart has a sale on size 56 jeans

OM45GE - Posted - 09/02/2020:  11:47:21

which I can still squeeze into if I don’t fasten the button.

The last time I

jacot23 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  14:14:13

was down to that size a Bush was in office.

I should probably...

chuckv97 - Posted - 09/02/2020:  14:48:20

start my Charles Atlas Fitness Program but I lost the DVD.

Push-ups are for the birds

jacot23 - Posted - 09/03/2020:  04:41:46

and bees.


I suppose I'll just stick to the normal routine of...