yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/09/2019:  13:24:57

Blowing their pollen right up my face.

Such a wonderful event can only be

OM45GE - Posted - 05/09/2019:  15:26:34

imagined where I come from.

Most of our events are

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/09/2019:  21:42:43

of the mundane variety.

Checkers and Parcheesi

OM45GE - Posted - 05/10/2019:  03:32:13

are about all the excitement we can handle.

I remember the last time we

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/10/2019:  04:13:21

played hop frog.

Sally got stuck in the

OM45GE - Posted - 05/10/2019:  04:49:06

rather suggestive position she had assumed.

I got out my camera, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/10/2019:  09:09:13

the shutter got stuck in that old Brownie.

Sally regained her modesty

OM45GE - Posted - 05/11/2019:  03:43:38

when the EMT’s covered her contorted limbs with a blanket before loading her into the back of the ambulance.

Just before they closed the doors, Sally called out,

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/11/2019:  18:39:42

Yo! Ya’ll seen my iPhone?

Whereas the EMT embarrassingly offered his

DC5 - Posted - 05/12/2019:  06:09:35

flip phone.


"What the $%#& is this?" she cried out

Cotton1 - Posted - 05/12/2019:  06:41:03

as she noticed the ambulance crew had a box of KFC where the medical supplies were supposed to be.

Were so sorry

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/12/2019:  06:51:04

Ma’am, we’ve done injected you with chicken dna.

As she frantically asked for the number for 911, a

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/12/2019:  07:10:54

vision appeared before her.

It was a

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/12/2019:  08:36:35

Rooster wearing a stethoscope.

In his professional voice he said...

Rossanne - Posted - 05/12/2019:  13:46:01

Cocka-doodle-doo!..chuckle-chuckle!..do it twice a day…{chicken translated}
call back when..

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/12/2019:  15:35:39

When you’ve finished the 2nd dose.

Upon doing that, a bear..

Rossanne - Posted - 05/12/2019:  15:57:36

..cried out ..Hey! You seen a chicken who talks kinda funny?..
Upon saying that, a horse..

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/12/2019:  16:34:45

Named Horsey, of all things, pulled out a
$30 bill bill.

Stunned, the chicken then stated... ‘ we will

Rossanne - Posted - 05/12/2019:  16:53:06

..become best friends an' I will jockey you in the grandest horse race of all time...



Horsey beamed with excitement and neighed happily then...

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/12/2019:  18:12:53

O.D.’ed on timothy and oats.

They found him

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/12/2019:  19:33:29

Splayed out...hooves up.

Upon seeing this grand site, a local

OM45GE - Posted - 05/13/2019:  03:14:40

wit posted a photo to Snap Chat with an extremely funny caption.

It quickly went viral

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2019:  07:17:49

but the SPCA got wind of it.

Jim Fowler’s ghost

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/13/2019:  08:09:04

Aptly named: the ghost of Jim Fowler.... made this statement.

I will, to the best

OM45GE - Posted - 05/13/2019:  11:04:44

of my ability, be a fawning sycophant to Marlin Perkins, even though my knowledge of animals is far beyond his.

That the two of them ended up in

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/13/2019:  12:29:00

In the same canoe together is beyond me.

As I swat mosquitoes... Jim will wrestle this

DC5 - Posted - 05/13/2019:  12:57:09

12 foot Nile Crocodile while blindfolded.


Mutual of Omaha wouldn't

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/13/2019:  13:26:00

Provide us with a spear or sub machine gun.

This was of no

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2019:  14:33:10

concern to Jim, who had seen horrors at the Russian front.

His nifty karate chop

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/13/2019:  14:33:44

importance to them.

At this very moment they are

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2019:  14:36:15

losing weight in a pine box at Omaha’s paupers graveyard.

They’d been hoodwinked

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/13/2019:  14:51:38

One too many times before.

Now, back at the bowling alley

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/13/2019:  16:36:45

Fingers McCalley and Knuckles Nellie we’re striking it rich.

As bowlers tripped over their shoelaces

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/13/2019:  18:53:38

With their eyes fixed on the supermodel Midge McKnocker who had just sauntered In.

Hey midge!, bellowed

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2019:  03:21:55

McCalley, only to slink away when Midge turned too quickly and fell into the ball return.

She

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/14/2019:  03:50:20

looked all around and said,,What the he--??

Then the manager came and

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2019:  06:06:12

said that it was closing time and they all had to clear out.

Everyone looked at

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/14/2019:  08:19:01

Each other like ‘well, get going’!

Meanwhile, midge was pulling her face from the ball return when

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2019:  08:37:27

Knuckles offered a hand.

“Get lost, you creep!”, she yelled

yeoldbanjoguy - Posted - 05/14/2019:  11:54:59

Knuckles, being the deaf man that he was, ignored her request.

This angered midge causing her to

OM45GE - Posted - 05/14/2019:  15:30:57

kick Knuckles in the family jewels.

That got his attention and he

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/14/2019:  22:12:33

bit his mangled knuckles as he slumped over.

Fingers ,meanwhile, had got his fingers stuck

OM45GE - Posted - 05/15/2019:  03:48:44

trying to get free candy from the vending machine.

He’s done this

Cotton1 - Posted - 05/15/2019:  06:46:23

So many times over the years.

"Get a ambulance" exclaimed

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/15/2019:  08:22:30

Erik Estrada , as he brandished his pistol.

“I’m placin’ you under arrest!”

OM45GE - Posted - 05/15/2019:  15:32:04

but before I cuff you, can you snag a Reese’s Cup for me?

Fingers gave Erik the finger and said,

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/17/2019:  02:47:55

Get your Reese's cup like I got mine

So Eric stuck his fingers

OM45GE - Posted - 05/17/2019:  03:23:41

Into the vending machine and immediately realized he was stuck.

This isn’t going to

chuckv97 - Posted - 05/17/2019:  08:12:12

look good on Facebook when Knuckles posts the photo.

With billy club in hand