Rossanne - Posted - 01/12/2020:  13:52:02

Realizing his entire life on Earth was one operatic opera after another..
Later made up his mind he'd have surgery on those..

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/12/2020:  15:44:50

(...song lyrics with reality...), and it makes a huge difference which generation’s lyrics I have in mind.

For instance, 1950s lyrics

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/12/2020:  15:58:39

are all about doowop and go,cat,go.

My interpretive skills

Rossanne - Posted - 01/13/2020:  01:15:22

..make for superior angling skills..
This past weekend surprized the watchers end of pier when..

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2020:  03:42:34

an enormous whale swam up, opened its mouth and several people stepped out.

There were three

OldBlindGuy - Posted - 01/13/2020:  03:59:59

little pigs who had gained some notoriety due to their encounter with a wolf.

Reports of this event

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2020:  05:11:19

are a bit confusing because eyewitnesses were taken aback by the weirdness of it all.

Some of them insisted they saw

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/13/2020:  12:44:45

Porky, Arnold Ziffel, and Miss Piggy walking into a bar.

The rumour mill

OM45GE - Posted - 01/13/2020:  13:32:23

has been running rampant ever since with stories too fantastic to believe, all of which now have fervent believers on the Internet.

As I tell my alien friends, you can’t always

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/13/2020:  23:13:20

assume P T Barnum wan’t telling the truth.

Of course, when folks went looking for the egress,

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2020:  03:08:06

they discovered the way was longer than they expected.

It was so long,

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/14/2020:  09:32:28

they gave up in utter defeat.

Determination was never their strong suit

OM45GE - Posted - 01/14/2020:  14:01:28

in the poker game of life.

On the other hand,

Rossanne - Posted - 01/15/2020:  07:25:31

..going for a stroll was out of the question...
'cos since becoming a Mermaid an' swallowing that awful magic potion...

OM45GE - Posted - 01/15/2020:  08:27:32

had reduced her legs to a pair of pectoral fins which were entirely unsuitable for perambulation on dry land.

However, she was

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/15/2020:  09:40:27

toying with the bass fishermen on Lake Twoface.



Unfortunately, their drunken state

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/15/2020 09:40:50

OM45GE - Posted - 01/15/2020:  11:36:45

prevented them from grasping that they were, in fact, seeing an actual mermaid.

They all assumed that

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/15/2020:  14:26:59

the mermaids were just figments of there imagination.

To prove the point they

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/15/2020:  17:17:00

laid their figments out for intense inspection.

When nothing surfaced

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/15/2020:  18:59:02

the figments were declared non-buoyant.

That called on someone to float

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/15/2020:  19:22:31

a giraffe from Senigal to Boston.

Problems arose

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2020:  03:12:35

immediately when the giraffe realized she had left her passport at home.

Everyone stood around while

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/16/2020:  10:36:24

TSA performed a CT scan of the giraffe’s neck.

It was negative, so

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2020:  10:53:43

all hands were on deck, so to speak.

Speaking of which, my new deck shoes

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/16/2020:  14:00:35

are a bit tight on me.

And kind of a strange color that

Rossanne - Posted - 01/16/2020:  14:38:23

And kind of a strange color that

..according to ancient legend shoes with pink an' black dot decoration on them..

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2020:  14:46:20

heartening back to the ‘50’s with Presley and Cash.

My rockabilly roots

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2020:  15:02:15

quote:

---

Originally posted by chuckv97

harkening back to the ‘50’s with Presley and Cash.



My rockabilly roots

---

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/16/2020 15:02:46

Rossanne - Posted - 01/16/2020:  16:27:10

My rockabilly roots

..can be difficult to manage I usually decide on a short crop. Elvis met outside the cutters, later I discovered we...

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2020:  17:04:30

were actually cousins on my mother’s side.

That meant we couldn’t

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/16/2020:  17:10:16

really obey the law at all and it really showed.

On the other hand their were only two

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/16/2020:  17:51:49

people who honored the English language when it involved “their, they’re and there”.

Please don’t tell me

OM45GE - Posted - 01/16/2020:  19:02:45

you understand how I feel.

That just makes me feel

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/16/2020:  19:15:33

like ordering a pizza.

But last time I was in the pizza parlor the mafia

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/16/2020:  23:12:08

was there and started talking in Italian almost as soon as I entered. *

So I


*[This actually happened to me around 1975.]

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2020:  03:13:33

patted my pockets like I had forgotten my wallet and beat a hasty retreat.

My friends said I should have

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/17/2020:  08:04:44

said “ari verderci” before I left.

Next morning I found a horse’s head

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2020:  11:12:41

next to me under the covers of my bed.

There were several betting slips and a couple of

KyBanjo - Posted - 01/17/2020:  11:27:28

empty bourbon bottles on the nightstand.

There was also a phone number left to call the

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/17/2020:  12:46:36

local undertaker.

I read the writing on the wall

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2020:  13:27:29

and dialed 800-382-5968 for a good time.

I don’t know what I expected, but after several rings,

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/17/2020:  15:31:00

someone came on the line offering to sell me a banjo he said had a “Gumby” peghead.

So I asked him

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/17/2020:  16:33:58

Where's Jimmy Hoffa?

He said that's going to cost me a lot more than this banjo. I set up a place to meet

OM45GE - Posted - 01/17/2020:  17:38:21

but got lost on the way there.

I’m hoping

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/18/2020:  07:06:05

he doesn't call for a hitman when I don't show up at the Chuck e Cheese.

The money was weighing me down

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/18/2020:  08:46:05

so I ducked into Esposito’s Casino for a couple of hours.

I left with the shirt on my back

Bill Rogers - Posted - 01/18/2020:  09:26:28

though without my Gucci loafers.

Speaking of loafers,

OM45GE - Posted - 01/18/2020:  10:57:25

I think I’ll go lie down for a couple of hours.

I’m exhausted from all

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 01/18/2020:  15:27:48

the jumping on the hot cement.

I found a spot in the back of an empty pickup