OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2014:  07:30:03

life, one must sometimes make difficult choices.

Like which brand of beer

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/29/2014:  08:15:18

goes best with which flavor of pork skins.

You can tell a Virginian

OM45GE - Posted - 03/29/2014:  08:21:47

from a Tennessee native pretty easily.

You just need to check 

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/29/2014:  08:29:40

what brand of finger picks they use.

The old wooden ones

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/29/2014:  09:17:17

some Virginians use, well,  they claim were made from George Washington's teeth while the Tennesseeans claim Davy Crocket carved theirs from out of a famous tree he once kilt a bear bare handed from so as not to dull his genuine authentic customized Jim Bowie hunting knife.

Old timers will tell you

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/30/2014:  08:51:21

that that's a crock of BS.

The truth of the matter is

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/30/2014:  09:08:00

debatable.

Storytellers

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2014:  11:41:55

are a dime -a-dozen.

Truthtellers are

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/30/2014:  12:24:23

scarce as hens teeth.

Hens teeth

OM45GE - Posted - 03/30/2014:  12:45:53

are non-existent. 

That makes

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/30/2014:  13:49:31

for some mighty tough gizzards.

Buzzard eggs

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2014:  15:07:10

go well with eating crow.

Never admit you're wrong

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/30/2014:  15:12:42

as long as you're breathing.

After that

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/30/2014:  15:36:49

fake it

have you ever been to a

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/30/2014:  15:48:45

goat roping?

Soldiers and sailors

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/30/2014:  16:45:53

get roped into going to brothels every night.

All their money

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/30/2014:  19:33:52

disappears during the night

the next time I go to the

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2014:  02:32:58

brothel, I'm leaving my wallet at home.

Of course, that means

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/31/2014:  02:46:34

the wife will rob me anyway.

They say you are what you

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2014:  03:22:56

eat.

That's pretty scary because

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/31/2014:  04:34:36

the DNA didn't pass the test the first time around

at one time I was

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/31/2014:  06:58:35

the 'before' version of Charles Atlas.

Then I sent off for his course and

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/31/2014:  07:35:25

now I'm the pre-historic version.

If any of you saw the movie "Caveman",you might

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2014:  08:27:56

want to check what's in your popcorn.

Those GMO corn colonels

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2014:  08:38:22

have been promoted to one star generals.

Now they strut around like

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/31/2014:  13:30:32

two roosters in the same barn yard.

Morgan and Bill Monroe were cousins and we all used to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2014:  13:47:06

marvel at their talent.

Now a new generation

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2014:  14:47:19

is hopefully discovering their work.

Some might even start wearing

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/31/2014:  16:00:29

cotton underwear.

If your computer is running slow you

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2014:  16:32:19

need to buy a cyberspace turbocharger at Radio Shack.

They only made

OM45GE - Posted - 03/31/2014:  16:34:55

those for a few a few years.

As a result, they are

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/31/2014:  18:43:43

not a company I'd want to be buying up shares of stock in at this time.

A safer

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/31/2014:  18:47:44

is gone

the weather here as sunny today but tomorrow

RandyZ - Posted - 03/31/2014:  19:11:16

Isnt here yet.

Theres something about a redhaired girl leaning on a car that...

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/31/2014:  20:08:47

reminds me of a horror movie I saw once.

That "she" was a "he"

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/01/2014:  01:20:31

and that kept everything confused.

Wilmer didn't have a snow cone because he said they

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2014:  02:16:03

contained dangerous additives.

He thought they would

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/01/2014:  03:45:04

alter his boyhood in some unusual way he wasn't ready for.

This caused Wilmer

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2014:  04:31:19

to make up excuses for not having snow cones when all the other kids were.

He tried

RandyZ - Posted - 04/01/2014:  05:25:50

dirt cones....cottage cheese  cones...you name it.



Aside from being made fun of, Wilmer...

Edited by - RandyZ on 04/01/2014 05:26:24

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2014:  05:30:44

developed a very bad complexion and ground his teeth to little nubs.

His social life  

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2014:  08:24:43

was non-existent- even the banjo players shunned him.

So he took up the bass fiddle

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/01/2014:  10:08:54

, carried her across the threshold and voilà!... that very same night a new and beautiful relationship was conceived.

From then on everywhere Wilmer went

OM45GE - Posted - 04/01/2014:  13:08:55

his bass fiddle was by his side.

It caused a few problems,

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/01/2014:  17:10:13

which were solved

my sun burn is so

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/01/2014:  17:22:00

red that bulls are chasing me.

El Toro

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/01/2014:  18:09:40

was a limited series lawn mower that was discontinued in 1952 but today if you can find on is priceless

my close dryer wants to

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/01/2014:  19:28:41

hang out outdoors with the close lines.

He thinks drip dry close are

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/02/2014:  03:49:08

good to the last drop.

When trying to out wit the wife,always remember