OM45GE - Posted - 04/14/2020:  11:51:55

a year older than I am now.

I’ll still be younger than

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/14/2020:  13:25:33

dirt.

Its not something I boast about

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/14/2020:  15:36:28

because aging hardly makes one unique.

How one ages, though

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/14/2020:  15:38:51

being led kicking and screaming into geezerhood, is a lost art.

Take my wife, for instance,

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/14/2020:  16:07:59

please.

I just flew in from Los Angeles and boy

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/14/2020:  16:17:24

what a sight it was to see.

Their were hardly anyone around the terminal except

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2020:  03:07:22

some guy wearing an Albert Einstein mask.

He clearly didn’t

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/15/2020:  06:44:44

look the part of an air traveler.

He had on a long overcoat as well, and made him look

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2020:  07:59:47

like a pensioner from skidrow.

I’m not flying anymore

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2020:  08:15:00

if that’s the sort of seat mate I have to look forward to.



He probably has terrible 

Edited by - OM45GE on 04/15/2020 08:15:19

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/15/2020:  11:45:06

table manners as well.

I once flew with one like him though, it was

OM45GE - Posted - 04/15/2020:  12:41:00

a transatlantic flight from Boston to Dublin.

By the time he’d finished his salad, I was

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/15/2020:  15:23:23

covered in French dressing and drool.

I asked him if he was born in a barn

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/15/2020:  18:22:22

he said 'yes' and belched.

Then he showed me his air marshal badge

Bill Rogers - Posted - 04/15/2020:  20:05:26

which looked like it had come from a cereal box.

I then asked him

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2020:  03:19:15

for another form of identification.

He looked at me conspiratorially, pulled a Little Orphan Annie secret decoder ring out of his pocket and said,

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2020:  04:04:33

“I know people in high places.”

With that, he

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2020:  04:39:48

turned the decoder ring several times and suddenly looked at me with suspicious alarm.

He moved to

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/16/2020:  06:29:50

the center of the isle, from there he was heading to the cockpit.

after that landed they preceded too

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2020:  08:25:07

pummel him with rubber hoses.

Today is just another

OM45GE - Posted - 04/16/2020:  11:40:09

chapter in the saga of my life.

I’m hoping they’ll make a movie

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/16/2020:  14:09:37

of me for when alzheimer's kicks in.

Unfortunately my memory is too strong now

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2020:  17:36:41

to block out my sordid love affairs.

My 11 kids from 4 different women

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/16/2020:  17:39:10

and bulging from my head in places.

My doctors tell me they want to

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/16/2020:  17:49:28

extract the boot from my rectum ; an unfortunate result of my firing from my last job.

I told them I needed morphine

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2020:  03:42:06

to ease the pain of a broken heart.

They said it was self inflicted

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/17/2020:  08:27:59

and that extra morphine was not allowed.

However they gave a referral to see a

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2020:  08:46:55

dentist whose clientele are, by nature, mostly arseholes.

With a maniacal grin

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2020:  08:55:16

he assured me that the room was completely soundproof.

I didn’t find that information very

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/17/2020:  12:47:57

consoling but I passed out once I saw the drill.

Now I can chomp the bumper off a 57 chevy

OM45GE - Posted - 04/17/2020:  14:00:29

which will come in handy on my new job at the junkyard.

I’ll also get to use my new

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/17/2020:  14:19:00

overhauled rectum in Rocky’s Rekking Yard’s vinyl outhouse.



Unfortunately he’s run out of T.P.

Edited by - chuckv97 on 04/17/2020 14:19:22

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/17/2020:  14:24:27

but fortunately Rocky had a few greasy shop rags laying around.

Man do my but cheeks really slide now

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/17/2020:  17:32:33

which led to my career in vent access during bank robberies.

So smooth no DNA was left

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2020:  03:26:06

for the crime scene investigators.

In fact, there was nothing

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2020:  03:45:23

to do but head for Grim Jim’s to drown their sorrows.

My bank manager

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2020:  04:09:50

recently absconded with all of my funds.

He won’t get far on four dollars and seventy three cents, but

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/18/2020:  06:25:18

its the thought that counts.

I had to dig up the $750,000 in my backyard

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/18/2020:  07:23:56

to pay some overdue library book fees.

I will never again be late for my

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2020:  07:26:50

surprise birthday parties even if I’d rather be fishing.

Last year they threw

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2020:  10:03:50

me into the dumpster behind the function hall.

That's where I found the

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/18/2020:  11:59:00

number one issue of Superman.

I was so inspired I found a telephone booth

OM45GE - Posted - 04/18/2020:  15:29:58

and took off all my clothes.

At that moment, the

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/18/2020:  18:39:30

men with white lab coats took me back to the mental hospital.

I love it there

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/18/2020:  19:02:00

but somehow keep escaping from there.

Can someone let me in the

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2020:  08:20:58

locked ward?

My key doesn't seem to

KyBanjo - Posted - 04/19/2020:  12:01:20

work anymore, who changed the darn lock again?

If something doesn't change I am finding me a new

OM45GE - Posted - 04/19/2020:  13:42:01

psychiatric treatment facility.

It's driving me crazy

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 04/19/2020:  14:00:27

trying to treat all my patients.



I gave them 14 days notice

Edited by - Peter Vipulis on 04/19/2020 14:00:42