Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  08:45:42

the groceries so we will have enough for the month

I claimed that hill three times and

MWBailey - Posted - 02/15/2014:  09:29:23

They still gave it to the white people.

Someday, hamburgers will be

RandyZ - Posted - 02/15/2014:  09:56:33

Able to be rolled up and smoked. This will cut down on the....

Edited by - RandyZ on 02/15/2014 09:57:09

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  10:00:49

need for grease police.

Willie drives a cannibus

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2014:  11:36:56

harvester in Jamaica. 

He gets paid in

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  14:01:12

Frank Sinatra records.

Doobeedoobeedooo drove me crazy

kcjc69 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  14:05:44

then back again.

His momma drove the local

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  14:28:36

ice cream truck full of potatoes

The last time that were over they

kcjc69 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  14:35:32

ran into a vat of oil making the first local potatoe chip.

His uncle was the guy with

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  17:18:44

oily hair,so they called them "Uncle Chips".

But Chip from My Three Sons took legal

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2014:  17:46:43

action to stop the use of his name. 

His lawyer asked for 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  18:20:04

an appeal so they could scrutinize the evidence closer

My compass was broken by Bigfoot

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2014:  18:22:13

while I was watching for ufo's. 

I'm a realistic guy, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  18:55:03

those acid trips with Bill Shatner made me a believer.

Last week I saw

OM45GE - Posted - 02/15/2014:  19:17:31

the most amazing hallucination. 

It was Anna Henninger in

RandyZ - Posted - 02/15/2014:  19:32:16

An admirals outfit asking directions to quazar 13. Little did she know...

Edited by - RandyZ on 02/15/2014 19:32:46

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  19:42:43

I knew verry little till later in life

My water purification system

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/15/2014:  19:57:28

was sabotaged by a Dasani secret agent.

Now he's sniffing around

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2014:  03:12:08

my corn makins.

Excuse me Miss,What time will you be

kcjc69 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  05:59:25

ready to date real cowboys?

She glanced over his shoulder

jistgreg - Posted - 02/16/2014:  06:33:21

and noted the approach of Conan the Barbarian. 

"As far as real cowboys," she said, 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  06:47:45

I have two in my dresser drawer


Tell the teacher to go

kcjc69 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  07:21:49

pick up the apple at the good food store.

While she's doing that Conan

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2014:  07:31:37

can visit with the Miss.

Tell Lois Lane that Superman will

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/16/2014:  08:35:35

need to be kept well oiled so he doesn't rust.

Faster than a speeding bullet

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  08:40:43

is not really her deepest desire.

She's been flirting with Jimmy

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/16/2014:  08:52:25

the Greek, but after he died all bets are off.

Her latest

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2014:  09:00:19

fling is Mr.White.

She says he is very good at

drew-gurbach - Posted - 02/16/2014:  09:12:17

...it's still a mole hill.

My best effort at...

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  09:15:28

romantic rendezvous is rather pitiful.

I'm gonna tell off 

jistgreg - Posted - 02/16/2014:  10:11:23

the cop the next time I'm pulled over for anything. 

Maybe it will lead to 

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/16/2014:  11:24:54

a shorter waiting period for getting me processed into a cell.

The last time

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  12:35:46

they took so long I missed supper.

So I called my wife

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  13:55:35

a name and she didn't like what I said

In the next town I'm

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/16/2014:  13:55:43

which was wrong thing to do.

But she came to the station and

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  15:16:14

told off the sergeant for me.

So then they made her

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/16/2014:  15:39:58

make a doughnut run for them.

I felt bad about not

drew-gurbach - Posted - 02/16/2014:  15:41:48

giving her money.

After all, she's never...

jistgreg - Posted - 02/16/2014:  16:46:31

laid it on the line like some women I could mention. 

When I asked her which one gave her the dime, 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  17:37:50

she pointed at you and mumbled something

The water ran down the

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  17:59:42

XM aerial and smoked Bluegrass Junction.

I'll have to get rabbit ears

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  18:36:51

and tail on my next hunting trip

The afternoon came early as I

OM45GE - Posted - 02/16/2014:  19:57:34

crawled into bed. 

It wasn't the first time

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  20:04:17

I stayed up for 3 days at a gluebrass festival.

My banjo needs 

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/16/2014:  20:25:16

to get out more.

Every day that passes

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  20:47:31

the days get shorter

The money situation is not

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/16/2014:  21:19:52

what it used to be.

I've been dumpster-diving

OM45GE - Posted - 02/17/2014:  02:48:36

for fun and profit  

To be honest, there's not and profit and the fun

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/17/2014:  06:02:42

is not what it used to be when I was younger

While fishing I saw a