OM45GE - Posted - 11/15/2018:  12:35:49

now all I need is an assistant named Igor.

I wonder if reality TV

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/17/2018:  06:45:02

will give me an advance.

I've been waiting for this big break

DC5 - Posted - 11/17/2018:  06:58:14

to get my 15 minutes of fame.


Do you think autograph

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/17/2018:  07:02:22

signing will help?

We tried in once in Denver but

OM45GE - Posted - 11/17/2018:  07:11:11

the police arrested me for soliciting signatures without a permit.

Ironically, they asked me to sign

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/17/2018:  07:13:13

my death warrant, whatever that is.

I'm lucky a fire broke out

OM45GE - Posted - 11/17/2018:  08:59:22

giving me the opportunity to escape in the confusion.

I’ve been confused

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/19/2018:  03:33:48

since then and can't stand to hear the word escape.

But things have gotten better now because

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2018:  03:39:59

I found the bottle of Scotch I’d stashed in my desk drawer.

I’m still confused, but it

DC5 - Posted - 11/19/2018:  06:23:02

had only half as much as I remembered.


I suspect my assistant

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2018:  06:38:02

may have developed a taste for fine single malts.

She’s going to be surprised when she realizes

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/19/2018:  06:49:46

the singles dating website is my personal lair.

Since becoming computer literate

OM45GE - Posted - 11/19/2018:  07:12:58

I’ve gained 50 pounds, my girlfriend has left me, the pizza delivery guy is my new best friend and the neighborhood children didn’t come to my house on Halloween.

I’m starting to think

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/19/2018:  07:31:06

I have made a terrible mistake.

But what the heck,,It just

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/19/2018:  10:48:49

keeps getting better all the time, never mind keeping me out of jail.

My probation officer

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/20/2018:  03:12:23

overlooks many things,

For $50.oo a month he

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2018:  03:33:01

is even willing to clean my house.

He doesn’t do windows, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/20/2018:  05:02:50

he brings his wife to do that.

Anyway,we're both satisfied with the

DC5 - Posted - 11/20/2018:  05:41:29

sipping the single malt while she does the windows.


Up on the step ladder she

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2018:  09:06:03

cuts a fine figure.

She also visits the ex-cons

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2018:  10:30:30

with homemade pastries containing cutting tools.

If she gets caught,

DC5 - Posted - 11/20/2018:  11:17:09

she'll make an "arraignment" with the warden.


It's a wonder that some

OM45GE - Posted - 11/20/2018:  13:45:39

people are able to walk and breathe at the same time.

They’re so stupid

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/20/2018:  17:59:03

that they ,for instance, change the air in their tires every fall to "winter air".

Then they complain to GoodYear

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2018:  03:18:52

whe the tires turn a cold shoulder to him.

He can handle the rejection, but

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/21/2018:  04:55:10

doesn't like the rough ride the tires provide.

I don;t worry about

DC5 - Posted - 11/21/2018:  06:37:35

summer or winter air, as long as my blinker fluid is full.



Do you happen to know where

OM45GE - Posted - 11/21/2018:  06:54:22

I live?

I know it's around here somewhere, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/21/2018:  09:45:35

ever since Grim Jim's Bar & Grill re-opened, I've been a bit indisposed.

Jim offers the daily special

DC5 - Posted - 11/21/2018:  10:45:04

, a double bourbon and bourbon with a scotch chaser.



Now that pot is legal

OM45GE - Posted - 11/22/2018:  05:04:51

here in Massachusetts, I’ve been totally fried every day.

The munchies are

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/22/2018:  07:21:04

totally out of control.

I'm running a tab at Hasib's Corner Store

OM45GE - Posted - 11/22/2018:  11:55:26

which currently exceeds my net worth by a factor of ten.

Hasib doesn’t know

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/23/2018:  10:49:29

my wife quit her job, or that I’ve been leeching off her since 1987.

The pot I’ve been smoking

DC5 - Posted - 11/23/2018:  12:44:03

is better than at the legal pot shops.



Sometimes it makes me forget

OM45GE - Posted - 11/23/2018:  14:19:32

something, but I can’t remember what it is.

If anyone can give me a hint

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/23/2018:  16:08:34

send it in an encrypted message form because this dame in my house might not be my wife.

Her cooking

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2018:  05:50:11

is just as disgusting my wife’s but she throws it at me with her right hand and I’m pretty sure my wife is a lefty. 

Maybe she has

Edited by - OM45GE on 11/24/2018 05:51:08

DC5 - Posted - 11/24/2018:  05:57:03

amnesia and forgot what hand to use.


But the pot makes me

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2018:  06:06:25

see things in mirror image so perhaps her right is left and her left is right.

Or maybe I’m just wrong about

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/24/2018:  09:09:52

who left who and who’s right or wrong.

This life I’m living

DC5 - Posted - 11/24/2018:  12:51:17

probably won't end well.


But I'm having

OM45GE - Posted - 11/24/2018:  17:16:44

a wonderful time for now.

When I have to pay the

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/25/2018:  07:15:42

fiddler I'll be far down the road of ruin.

But my friends in high places

DC5 - Posted - 11/25/2018:  13:39:33

get nosebleeds due to the altitude.


High up in the Himalayas

OM45GE - Posted - 11/25/2018:  19:37:36

is where I lost my virginity.

The first time I saw the

banjoscotty - Posted - 11/26/2018:  04:39:46

D.T.&I run I was flabbergasted at its speed.

No other railroad has come close to

OM45GE - Posted - 11/26/2018:  07:07:06

matching that kind of speed.

The Japanese Bullet Trains come close but

chuckv97 - Posted - 11/26/2018:  08:00:54

they sure don't match the exploits of Casey Jones.

"Shovel in a little more coal!"