Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/02/2020:  14:10:19

told Sulley he was turning in his notice and retiring from his job as Scare Assistant.

It was then that Randall

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/02/2020:  14:16:12

told Klugman he’d have to “shape up or ship out!”.

Anal people

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/02/2020:  16:20:43

tend to act rather strange at times and pretend to not notice.

It seems they

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/02/2020:  21:38:20

have retentive deep sleep trauma as diagnosed by Dear Abbey.

Her credentials

OM45GE - Posted - 12/03/2020:  03:23:35

are questionable and her intentions nefarious.

She’s trying to

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/03/2020:  06:05:42

use reverse psychology on them but its not working.

Her friend Judge Judy stopped by and

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/03/2020:  09:12:56

slapped her silly.

Angry judges with gavels

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/03/2020:  10:26:16

make great spouses for cuckold men on the lam.

The average guy

Peter Vipulis - Posted - 12/03/2020:  20:25:23

can cook pasta.

The non average guy

xmark - Posted - 12/03/2020:  20:38:49

can eat his weight in pasta.

I'm above average

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/03/2020:  21:02:09

when it comes to grade 2 arithmetic.

But I usually take off my socks

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/04/2020:  05:08:52

when I run out of fingers and make use of the toes.

I counted to twelve but it started smelly funny so

OM45GE - Posted - 12/04/2020:  05:17:45

I switched to base five counting system.

That allowed me to

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/04/2020:  05:45:08

count the toes and hold my breath at the same time.

It looks strange but

OM45GE - Posted - 12/04/2020:  06:32:25

friends enjoy watching my face turn blue.

They really like it when

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/04/2020:  07:03:30

when I pass out from lack of oxygen.

Then they can steal

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/04/2020:  08:24:20

my beer that I always have hidden under the porch.

Fair weather friends

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/04/2020:  12:17:08

is what they are.

My friend Ole borrowed

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/04/2020:  12:56:01

some money from me awhile back.

To pay me back he is going to

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/04/2020:  13:04:44

take my wife bungee-jumping.

He says he has a sharp pocket knife

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/04/2020:  13:53:37

that will slice darn near thru anything.

Turns out the bungee was

rvrose - Posted - 12/04/2020:  14:10:13

A birthday gift.

Twas the night before Christmas

OM45GE - Posted - 12/04/2020:  17:48:38

and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not a even a louse.

The stockings were hung in that chimney routine,

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/04/2020:  17:53:00

while Habs were munching loads of Poutine.

Then from the roof they fell off the ladder

OM45GE - Posted - 12/05/2020:  03:11:53

and landed face first in the Poutine platter.

The EMT’s arrived in full hazmat gear

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/05/2020:  06:32:12

carting a cooler stuffed full of beer.

The suds and Poutine made our guts swell

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/05/2020:  07:31:40

and the preacher said we’re going to hell.

My brain suddenly hurts

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/05/2020:  08:09:35

with thoughts of sugar plums we’ll be having for dessert.

I rose from my chair to get some antacid

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/05/2020:  13:35:57

and when I came back they were watching Lake Placid.

Seems the gators want in on the action as well

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/05/2020:  15:52:18

but Pogo is one that never will tell.

Speaking of William Tell

OM45GE - Posted - 12/07/2020:  03:40:54

, his son wanted him to use a watermelon for a target instead of an apple.

William would have none of it and said,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/07/2020:  07:00:05

“Instead of an apple or a watermelon, let’s use a cherry”.

Needless to say

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/07/2020:  10:19:49

ol’ Will wasn’t too happy with his son’s Oedipus complex.

As an added threat

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/07/2020:  11:22:28

William was distracted by his lovely arrow nocking assistant Penelope when she commented that he had a bent shaft.



At which time

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/07/2020 11:22:45

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/07/2020:  13:55:40

he began to wander which shaft was bent.

Turns out it was his

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/07/2020:  14:39:31

tool for the spreading of genetic material.

Never adjust yourself in left field

OM45GE - Posted - 12/08/2020:  04:25:35

because you never know when the camera is focused on you.

Imagine the video

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/08/2020:  05:14:37

"Purple Rain" by Prince being shown at a Kentucky Bluegrass festival.



The reaction

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/08/2020 05:15:26

OM45GE - Posted - 12/08/2020:  05:42:15

of the crowd would be particularly interesting.

It’s possible that they

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/08/2020:  06:21:02

might really get into it given an abundance of KY-Wickey.

One of the festival bluegrass bands

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/08/2020:  06:27:27

got so stoned they played at half speed.

The bass player collapsed

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/08/2020:  06:42:56

knocking down half of the band in one shot.

Speaking of shots how about

OM45GE - Posted - 12/08/2020:  11:36:01

cracking open that bottle of single malt?

I’ve been eying it ever since

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/08/2020:  13:22:07

we moved back a few years ago.

It tasted like

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/08/2020:  16:23:03

horse urine when I was a kid.

Nowadays it tastes more like

OM45GE - Posted - 12/09/2020:  03:26:53

the nectar of the Gods.

I’m so glad that it’s not

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/09/2020:  05:21:59

raining today.



I have a big plans for today including

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/09/2020 05:24:34

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/09/2020:  06:21:59

doing a rain dance.

I never stray too far off the reservation

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/09/2020:  09:11:23

unless I've made a reservation.



I hate waiting

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/09/2020 09:16:29