chuckv97 - Posted - 12/10/2020:  06:39:27

seen Mary in years.

You know - she’s Sgt. O’Hara’s mistress

OM45GE - Posted - 12/10/2020:  15:16:49

which is yet another confirmation of the six degrees of separation theory.

In fact, that means Sgt. O'Hara and I are

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/11/2020:  07:26:41

second cousins to my wife’s brother-in-law’s sister’s neighbor’s aunt Ramona, who goes by the nickname of Blanch.

I heard she last worked

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2020:  08:12:49

at the hydrogen peroxide factory.

Her fingernails fell off

xmark - Posted - 12/11/2020:  09:34:43

but super-duper-glue and press-on nails can work wonders.

She also found another application for the glue

OM45GE - Posted - 12/11/2020:  13:39:58

on the toilet seats in the company restrooms.

Sometimes her practical jokes

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2020:  14:20:35

have seen workplace brouhahas continue long into the evening.



Yesterday I glued a new seat down in my balsa wood outhouse

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/11/2020 14:20:51

OM45GE - Posted - 12/12/2020:  03:33:06

but got careless with the adhesive which is why I’m typing this reply one handed.

If you get this message, please

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/12/2020:  06:37:04

inform someone that I could really use a hand.

The next time I will use

OM45GE - Posted - 12/12/2020:  09:10:47

a pair of gloves.

That will mean a trip to the

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/12/2020:  10:06:01

hardware store where my vertigo often kicks in due to the overly bright lighting Rocky has installed.

Rocky’s wife does his books

OM45GE - Posted - 12/12/2020:  10:33:28

and everyone thinks she's hiding cash from the IRS.

They also assume

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/12/2020:  12:58:44

Rocky’s wife does much more than ‘his books’.

Word is

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/12/2020:  13:12:07

she’s selling contraband Chinese screwdrivers on the side.

Rocky often wonders

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/12/2020:  14:16:43

how long until Sgt. O'Hara finally catches on to her scheme.

This has been

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/13/2020:  03:37:03

a topic of great consternation among her supporters and non-supporters alike.

But then she bought a banjo

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/13/2020:  06:30:49

because she had a screw loose.

Her backward rolls

MWBailey - Posted - 12/13/2020:  06:51:59

tend to cause palpitations among the younger set. Something about her pinky finger just

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/13/2020:  10:01:23

don't want to stay down.

It keeps wanting to

OM45GE - Posted - 12/13/2020:  14:48:02

stick itself in Rocky’s left eye.

He doesn’t

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/13/2020:  14:49:35

mind cuz it’s glass.

It’s a bit of a sorry tale but

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/13/2020:  14:55:09

but someone told it.

Did you hear about

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/13/2020:  17:23:27

how she got her glass finger?

Well, it happened

OM45GE - Posted - 12/14/2020:  03:11:57

on a dark and stormy night in late November.



She was just finishing her shift at the glass factory when

Edited by - OM45GE on 12/14/2020 03:12:15

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/14/2020:  08:05:52

the molding machine had a misfire and lopped off her index finger.

The foreman came over and chewed her out

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/14/2020:  10:10:57

which pissed her off so she gave him the finger.



It wasn’t long

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/14/2020 10:12:35

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2020:  03:30:01

before he realized they had a serious workplace injury issue.

He quickly offered to make a replacement

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/15/2020:  05:27:03

digit for her from some factory rejects.

She phoned her union rep

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2020:  06:58:55

who told her to accept the offer and then immediately filed a middle finger grievance.

This satisfied his grievance quota

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/15/2020:  09:36:27

but she wasn’t satisfied with the quality, color, texture, or shape of the factory reject that was offered her.

Seems the offering was

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/15/2020:  18:33:21

a bit on the piddly side at last Sunday morning’s church service.

Deacon Wurstenheimer scowled

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2020:  03:42:20

as he realized he wouldn’t be able to pocket any cash this weekend.

That meant he would have to forego

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/16/2020:  14:30:20

his weekly trip to the red light district.

That is where 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/16/2020 14:31:55

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2020:  15:11:14

he prayed he wouldn’t contract an. STD.



But alas, it warn’t to be

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/16/2020 15:11:32

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/16/2020:  17:15:18

with his luck.

A few days later it really started to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/16/2020:  18:27:26

rain very hard without letting up.

Soon 

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 12/16/2020 18:27:44

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2020:  03:36:34

the roof began to leak and he remembered he’d forgotten to fix it.

He needed to

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2020:  03:39:25

leave sticky notes on the fridge as reminders.

Rocky sold him a tarp

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2020:  03:52:01

and a ladder.

Now all he needs is

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/17/2020:  08:49:38

to buy a refrigerator on which to paste his sticky notes.

He faithfully watches the sales ads

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2020:  08:57:48

and window shops at Home Depot.

He asked the clerk why refrigerators weren’t in the “Windows” section

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/17/2020:  13:01:45

and the humorless sales clerk told him to loose the attitude or kiss off.

At the next store

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/17/2020:  14:03:56

had a truly wonderful Window display.

He had never seen the likes of since

OM45GE - Posted - 12/17/2020:  17:23:10

the last time he took LSD.

That was an incredibly

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/17/2020:  17:31:46

groovy trip back in 1967.

I’ve been in the mental ward since

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2020:  03:02:19

then but it’s not all that bad.

I have a place to sleep, three meals a day and my

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 12/18/2020:  04:36:43

medication is free.

Last week I escaped

OM45GE - Posted - 12/18/2020:  04:46:46

boredom by hiding in the hall closet and waiting for someone to walk by.

After a few minutes

KyBanjo - Posted - 12/18/2020:  07:35:18

no one showed up but I do feel better.

Being in the closet sure