chuckv97 - Posted - 12/09/2014:  20:48:08

I just drank is giving me the urge to call the great granddaughter of Alexander Graham Bell.



But this old rotary phone

Edited by - chuckv97 on 12/09/2014 20:49:37

OM45GE - Posted - 12/10/2014:  05:22:35

doesn't even work on the new digital network.

I guess I'll have to

jistgreg - Posted - 12/10/2014:  09:57:13

donate it to the Rotary Club. 

Speaking of clubs, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/10/2014:  10:26:23

did you know the local country club is finally allowing membership to banjo players?

They realized

OM45GE - Posted - 12/10/2014:  10:40:45

that they couldn't play golf very well but the were fun to watch.

After a couple of months

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/11/2014:  03:01:42

the banjo players bought the entire estate.

How's that for hillbilly planning and

OM45GE - Posted - 12/11/2014:  03:15:33

execution - usually not a strength of theirs.

We're quite proud

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/11/2014:  07:19:09

of our hillbilly ancestors.

Two peas in a pod don't

OM45GE - Posted - 12/11/2014:  07:42:16

satisfy the FDA recommended daily allowance of fiber.

However, they do

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2014:  07:48:56

make good fish bait,especially for those vegan catfish.

But two peas in an iPod

OM45GE - Posted - 12/11/2014:  10:54:02

could mean The Black Eyed Peas have broken up.

Maybe I'll call Will.I.Am and

jistgreg - Posted - 12/11/2014:  11:24:55

tell him I do not like green peas and ham. 

Or it could be Sam-I-Am 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/11/2014:  12:31:56

I am thinking of?

I sometimes confuse the two and

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/11/2014:  12:51:43

so I've sworn off Dr. Suess forever.

My confusion meter

jistgreg - Posted - 12/11/2014:  13:38:20

went off the scale when I tried to research the origins of Horton Hatches the Egg. 

Why Johnny Horton would 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/11/2014:  16:19:14

not play certain songs

is becuuse

OM45GE - Posted - 12/12/2014:  13:37:21

he has a severely limited repertoire consisting of only three songs.

He can't perform two of them in public because

jistgreg - Posted - 12/12/2014:  14:06:55

they're too riskay. 

The third one 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/12/2014:  15:26:19

is an old Welsh tune that can only be played on the second Tuesday of a month with a "P" in its name.

For some reason

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/12/2014:  15:33:30

the authorities will throw you in jail if you play it on April Fool's Day or September's Labor Day.

Even that Welshman Tom Jones

OM45GE - Posted - 12/12/2014:  16:31:25

was afraid to risk singing it in the privacy of his shower.

You never knew when

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/12/2014:  20:30:58

someone is listening

this concrete looks

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/13/2014:  03:38:48

just like cement.

The tires on this boat are

OM45GE - Posted - 12/13/2014:  07:37:55

not doing much good.

I thought they were

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/13/2014:  08:40:37

amphibious tires that would keep us going in the swamps,but alas, that weasly salesman sold us a bill of goods.

Why I oughtta

jistgreg - Posted - 12/13/2014:  09:28:27

punch that weasel right in his bill. 

Still, it could have been 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/13/2014:  10:21:05

worse, he was trying to sell me the helicopter upgrade.

I'm afraid that would just

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/13/2014:  15:35:50

my fault for going this way instead of the other way

this water is way too

jistgreg - Posted - 12/13/2014:  16:28:01

far up my nose for comfort. 

I oughta call the Water Board at the Water Works 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/13/2014:  18:18:16

to get a new hose with an end on it

my garden is still doing good but

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/13/2014:  20:14:00

raccoons ate all my corn.

Next year I'll

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/14/2014:  11:41:51

plant some soy beans or barley.

Those coons are sure pesty and

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/14/2014:  13:13:26

the dogs love them

next summer

OM45GE - Posted - 12/14/2014:  15:08:23

I plan to put plutonium pellets all around the plants to take care of the raccoons. 

Hopefully it will

MWBailey - Posted - 12/14/2014:  17:40:34

cause them to expel flammable gas after eating the pellets.

This in turn will cause

dmiller - Posted - 12/14/2014:  19:45:39

Global warming.

Air conditioning would be nice because

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/14/2014:  22:10:34

unconditioned air is bad for your tires.

I use winter

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/15/2014:  04:13:00

air to keep them cool in summer.

But better than that,it

OM45GE - Posted - 12/15/2014:  06:52:12

comes in a really cute container.

It's much nicer than

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/15/2014:  14:44:25

the summer air container that makes it hot in the winter

I really think we should

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/15/2014:  21:26:26

continue to buy tickets for the global sweepstakes,just in case we win.

Winning a globe

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/16/2014:  03:58:31

trotters basketball game is a great honor.

Always use a good name brand for

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2014:  05:30:48

you product, no matter how crappy the product really is.

People will buy anything that's

jistgreg - Posted - 12/16/2014:  08:52:18

shrewdly marketed. 

The proper gander machine 

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2014:  10:20:25

sold better than the improper gander machine, even though they were identical other than the name.

That goes to show that

Scaggs7 - Posted - 12/16/2014:  13:54:49

the proper and correct frame mind sell a product

until now

OM45GE - Posted - 12/16/2014:  13:58:49

we haven't discussed the marketing of products seemingly unsuitable for the target demographic.

For example, selling snow shovels to Jamaicans may

chuckv97 - Posted - 12/16/2014:  16:41:11

be difficult,unless you hype them to be valuable souvenirs from Canada.

Jamaicans love

banjoscotty - Posted - 12/17/2014:  03:47:38

to go naked and bask in the sunshine.

It keeps their skinned toned to a