Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/08/2014:  18:51:48

they came after my banjo case

The lady with the red hair was

OM45GE - Posted - 03/08/2014:  18:57:22

very careless when she picked it up. 

She didn't even check

jistgreg - Posted - 03/08/2014:  22:25:30

it at the check-in desk. 

She just threw it on a luggage cart and 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/09/2014:  04:56:41

screamed for the bellboy.

Then she grabbed a little old man and said,
come on buster you

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/09/2014:  06:56:20

might as well make yourself useful.

See that big galoot standing over there, I want you to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2014:  09:53:27

gum him to death. 

If you can't do that,

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/09/2014:  10:02:40

drool on him til he drowns.

He's an old cowhand

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/09/2014:  11:17:25

from the Rio Grand, used to play in a band, but then he got canned.

Now that right there is some awful pitiful

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2014:  11:33:39

song material. 

It reminds me of

jistgreg - Posted - 03/09/2014:  14:11:39

the time the Queen accused me of killing time. 

It was right in the middle of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat" and 

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2014:  14:20:27

she leapt onto the stage and started shouting at me. 

My fans were

Edited by - OM45GE on 03/09/2014 14:21:07

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/09/2014:  16:15:06

ripping her palatial clothes to shreds.

Luckily the Queen's own bulldogs

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2014:  17:14:11

pulled he to safety by the scruff of her neck. 

It wasn't very dignified, but

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/09/2014:  17:20:57

it got us a free dinner

I opened the trunk and saw

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2014:  17:35:32

exactly what I had been looking for. 

it was my 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/09/2014:  17:51:24

salid bowl shaped like a fiddle case

I always wanted to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2014:  18:00:08

serve a fresh Caesar salad to my family from that bowl.  

They don't understand 

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/09/2014:  19:18:55

musicians but they like fiddleheads in their salad.

However, the ferns and cattails

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/09/2014:  19:37:34

makes for good wilderness food

my girlfriend told me

FRAILER57 - Posted - 03/09/2014:  21:38:44

Euell Gibbons aint got nothin' on you.

And I said:

jistgreg - Posted - 03/10/2014:  01:10:23

Leeza Gibbons got nothin' on YOU! 

Confidentially, Hollywood 

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2014:  03:14:39

is missing an incredible opportunity.

If they would only look at

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/10/2014:  11:02:59

the travails of my life,they would throw a lot of loot my way.

My star would be

RandyZ - Posted - 03/10/2014:  13:05:14

pressed firmly into the cement on some sidewalk in Pittsburghs south side.


Which really isnt so bad because...

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2014:  13:09:38

it's better than having my legs pressed in cement.

Not that I

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/10/2014:  13:47:57

really care one way or the other.

I went to Stuart,Fl and saw

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/10/2014:  14:58:42

an old hippy step on a pop top.

His girlfriend bent down to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2014:  15:21:30

see how bad he was hurt and let out a huge fart.

She didn't even

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/11/2014:  03:50:14

say excuse me.

A German sailor sold many

OM45GE - Posted - 03/11/2014:  04:16:23

surplus gas masks that day. 

He planned to spend the money

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/11/2014:  08:03:43

on Lowenbrau and frauleins.

But a smooth-talking

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/11/2014 08:05:14

OM45GE - Posted - 03/11/2014:  10:08:44

banjo player convinced him to donate the funds to him.

He didn't give a

MWBailey - Posted - 03/11/2014:  15:07:30

Royal pitty pat about the money.

Banjo players, as a rule, are

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/11/2014:  18:50:47

just banjo players and that's it

While going to the pool today I saw

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/11/2014:  19:59:22

a mouse chasing a cat.

Those genetically modified 

OM45GE - Posted - 03/12/2014:  04:00:56

rodents are getting pretty

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/12/2014:  04:27:58

bold and should be exterminated.

Of course if you're a rat lover you can

OM45GE - Posted - 03/12/2014:  07:08:24

always toss a saddle on one and ride off into the sunset. 

The other cowpokes might

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/12/2014:  07:27:17

get jealous of the ratpokes.

That gig I went to last night was

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/12/2014:  09:39:01

riddled with clams, buzzed notes, and Flatt singing.

The irate audience

OM45GE - Posted - 03/12/2014:  09:47:20

stormed the stage and smashed all the instruments. 

We continued the show by

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/12/2014:  15:17:39

turning off the lights

the snow was so high the

OM45GE - Posted - 03/12/2014:  15:34:26

neighbors had to tunnel out the front door.  

They looked a little bewildered as they

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/12/2014:  16:22:41

met the cats on he way in

the dog got locked out by mistake because

OM45GE - Posted - 03/12/2014:  17:50:15

he had been impersonating a yeti. 

Everyone knows yetis aren't 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/12/2014:  18:38:58

dogs

while hunting I saw a

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/12/2014:  19:21:40

New Englander walking the Appalachian Trail.

He was looking for a rotary

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/12/2014:  19:28:19

dial phone and a walk-in telephone booth.

I never thought for one second he was Clark Kent, even though

Scaggs7 - Posted - 03/12/2014:  19:29:44

blade that fell off his helicopter

my birds can tell time and