banjoscotty - Posted - 04/24/2014:  04:41:13

cooling me off.

He was a good Sgt. but never

OM45GE - Posted - 04/24/2014:  05:04:03

the most empathetic. 

One time he

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/24/2014:  14:40:42

threw a guy in jail without his toupee.

His dog 

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/24/2014:  14:48:24

was hardly ever allowed to stick his head out the car widow like most dogs get to do when they go for rides.

It was just little things like that

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/24/2014:  18:43:45

that amounts to nothing

my dozed got stuck in

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/24/2014:  20:08:38

reverse so I put the blade on the other end.

My lowboy trailer

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/24/2014:  20:49:23

bottomed out on the train tracks crossing.

The Orange Blossom Special 

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2014:  03:19:08

was barreling down the tracks towards me. 

There was nothing to do but

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/25/2014:  07:24:33

shop playing the song so I wouldn't get hit

the water level was

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2014:  07:44:40

rising rapidly. 

I was worried that

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2014:  07:55:32

the OBS ,my lowboy, and me would get swept out to sea.

This weather nowadays

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2014:  15:03:37

has been extremely strange. 

So strange, in fact, 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/25/2014:  17:09:18

that a stranger didn't recognize it

I had a boat load of

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/25/2014:  17:36:15

Cubans, crossing over to the Florida Keys.

I charged each one

OM45GE - Posted - 04/25/2014:  18:20:37

an exorbitant amount of money. 

They  gladly paid because

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/25/2014:  18:44:03

the paid vacation here in the USA was pretty lucrative

the ice melt was raising. the

OM45GE - Posted - 04/26/2014:  09:27:44

water table and flooding the town. 

There wasn't 

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/26/2014:  19:14:38

a beer table in sight but the water tables were everywhere so I pulled up a chair and dealt the cards around.

He caught me dealin' from the bottom of the deck

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/26/2014:  21:32:53

,the poopdeck that is.

Mutiny was in the air

OM45GE - Posted - 04/27/2014:  07:32:48

which was blue from the curses the sailors were fond of. 

It was not the sort of language

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/27/2014:  14:36:54

your freshman high school English teacher was trying to get you to learn.

I thought the world of

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/27/2014:  18:13:38

Miss Horsechin,but she ran off with the gym teacher.

He wanted to teach her

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/27/2014:  20:04:05

to ride sidesaddle on the pommel  horse but she'd always just nicker a little and fall off.

Her best trick though

OM45GE - Posted - 04/28/2014:  01:59:15

involved the parallel bars. 

She would mount the bars and then

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/28/2014:  07:55:56

bend backwards til her head was between her thighs.

The vice-principal caught her in the act and

OM45GE - Posted - 04/28/2014:  08:52:53

resigned his position and asked her to marry him on the spot. 

Things didn't goes quite as

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/28/2014:  20:37:17

planned however.

Miss Horsechin slapped his face

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/28/2014:  20:38:36

expected

the former owner of the

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2014:  03:47:44

the known universe ended up completely broke .

He forgot how

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/29/2014:  03:49:47

deli ate up all the profits.

Then,,for desert,,he went

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2014:  03:57:39

to the all you can eat chocolate buffet. 

Two hours later, 

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2014:  06:43:06

they had to carry him out.

Chocolate poisoning

OM45GE - Posted - 04/29/2014:  06:57:42

isn't as much fun as some people think.

First you start to

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/29/2014:  21:09:46

look like you know more than you should

did you see that dog

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/29/2014:  22:07:04

snuggle up to that fire hydrant?

He must like red

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2014:  02:23:46

cast iron with the scent of other dogs. 

Personally I prefer 

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/30/2014:  05:41:02

the scent of a hamburger on a black cast iron grill with some onions and maters on the side.

If it weren't for

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2014:  06:21:17

the cholesterol, I would eat them every day.

However, my

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2014:  07:07:27

arteries are clogged.
I tried liquid plumber

banjoscotty - Posted - 04/30/2014:  08:32:49

but then my kidneys got clogged.

It's already 11:30 and

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2014:  13:07:25

I still cant find my car keys.

Now I forgotten where

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2014:  13:43:34

my car is.
I was out late last night

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2014:  14:53:44

and think I had a good time.

I'm not sure how my clothes

Scaggs7 - Posted - 04/30/2014:  16:01:08

got lost on the way home

the cows got out and

chuckv97 - Posted - 04/30/2014:  16:56:38

scared the mules into the neighbour's cornfield.

Old man Samples came out with a shotgun

OM45GE - Posted - 04/30/2014:  17:15:31

and let loose with both barrels.

Fortunately, I was

BigMonFan - Posted - 04/30/2014:  17:54:10

sitting in his car with ol Duke  the wonderdog, so I wasn't injured none.

Duke though thought the shotgun blast was a signal

OM45GE - Posted - 05/01/2014:  02:21:33

to go retrieve a dead bird.

He started jumping around and 

banjoscotty - Posted - 05/01/2014:  04:22:14

and fell out the window.

I think everyone should donate $50 to