chuckv97 - Posted - 01/01/2017:  08:41:07

the cat's out of the bag before you can lead a horse to water.

The writing on the wall

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/01/2017:  14:02:55

isn't very plain concerning the issue.

But maybe some day

OM45GE - Posted - 01/01/2017:  16:40:18

the graffiti artists will learn property grammar. 

It would certainly help with

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/01/2017:  19:35:19

drawing up my life plans, since on my own I seem to come up blank.

For instance yesterday

OM45GE - Posted - 01/01/2017:  19:43:29

someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. 

I was speechless because

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/02/2017:  04:39:51

I just couldn't think of anything to say.

But now it's a different

OM45GE - Posted - 01/02/2017:  04:53:09

only everyone left so I don't have anyone to talk with. 

I'd talk with myself but

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/02/2017:  08:38:03

my alter ego is out worshipping at the altar of self-indulgence.

Maybe I can Skype

Forrest - Posted - 01/02/2017:  08:52:53

myself and have some me-time for self reflection. 

What really scares me 

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/02/2017:  09:30:47

is the fact that I might find out more about myself.

That would not be very

OM45GE - Posted - 01/02/2017:  11:19:06

easy to explain to my imagination friends. 

They can be

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/02/2017:  11:23:10

vindictive at times, disappearing at the drop of a hat.

My milliner suffers from bouts of madness

OM45GE - Posted - 01/02/2017:  11:27:31

which explains why I dress as I do. 

Everything has to match the

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/02/2017:  12:33:26

attire of all the band members.

The band leader said that he

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/02/2017:  13:37:17

can't play well if everybody isn't wearing bib overalls.

These barndance gigs

OM45GE - Posted - 01/02/2017:  17:29:54

are going to be the death of me, what with my hay fever and acute farm animal allergies. 

I haven't stopped 

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/03/2017:  03:33:11

sneezing since Saturday night..

I have a plan that will

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2017:  03:36:28

take care of the problem. 

Now, I need to find a large 

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/03/2017:  05:29:50

shoe box and a three year old chicken.

Then I can

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2017:  05:32:19

hook up the WWII surplus hand cranked generator and let the feathers fly.

I'm not sure if this will

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2017:  08:18:17

cure my allergies but it'll be a siren call for any roosters within fo(u)r/4 miles.

My neighbo(u)rhood cats will

Forrest - Posted - 01/03/2017:  09:56:58

certainly be disappointed at the lost opportunity to dine on some squab.

The real test will be

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2017:  12:07:55

when I start my new job as a groomer at the local pet store.

If I can

Forrest - Posted - 01/03/2017:  13:42:06

learn to groom cats quickly without getting scratched, I can pass the exams to earn the coveted Pu$$y Tamer certification.

The hardest part is

Edited by - Forrest on 01/03/2017 13:42:28

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2017:  14:33:23

not smiling every time I think about how proudly I'll wear the Pu$$y Tamer embroidered patch on my chest.

I'll sew it right next to

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2017:  14:43:20

my "I'm a Crotch Rot Survivor" patch.

Today I decided to go retro and bought a box of Crackerjack

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2017:  14:52:03

and immediately tore into the box looking for my prize.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure wasn't

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/03/2017:  15:42:28

a plastic badge that said Captain Video Rangers.

Oh well,,it was fun digging

OM45GE - Posted - 01/03/2017:  16:06:59

through the popcorn 🍿 and peanuts 🥜 anyway even though I can't stand to eat the stuff. 

I prefer 

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/03/2017:  16:41:14

Reden Orvillebacher copporn while watching F Troop reruns.

Nowadays though, TV and Books

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/03/2017:  17:19:26

offer a great time to eat peacorn,popnuts,chewcan,and gumdy.

Popcorn is actually one of the

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2017:  03:00:40

things I used to like but no longer care for. 

Another is

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/04/2017:  03:58:11

trashy women from New Orleans.

There are other trashy women but

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2017:  06:18:17

I like them just fine, it's just the ones in The Big Easy that no longer hold any allure for me.

Maybe it's because of the time

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/04/2017:  07:32:41

when I thought I was King of the walk.

All of that has changed due to

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2017:  07:55:06

the incident.

I don't like to talk about it because

janolov - Posted - 01/04/2017:  08:28:54

I get a lot of bad memories.

That may be because of

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/04/2017:  08:34:58

the trauma associated with a blind date ,that turned out to be neither blind nor date-friendly.



I've been hoping for a better past

Edited by - chuckv97 on 01/04/2017 08:35:28

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/04/2017:  09:42:42

but the future always gets in the way.

And from that moment on he just

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2017:  12:07:40

opted out of further contact with the human species.

The humans were

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/04/2017:  12:15:29

a sorry looking lot, out for hateful vengeance and other acts of skulduggery.

Roadside ditches is where it's at

OM45GE - Posted - 01/04/2017:  12:16:27

when your first starting your carrion collection.

There are usually a lot of

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/04/2017:  19:55:22

counterfeit carrion around, but an eagle eye will spot the imposters.

If the crows avoid

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/05/2017:  09:18:48

them,,leave them alone.

But once the crows have

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2017:  13:41:54

had their carrion fill, there's usually not much left for the rest of us.

If you use a toothpick and a spatula 

chuckv97 - Posted - 01/05/2017:  14:06:32

you're eligible to enter the county-wide modern art competition this Spring.

Last year some hayseed

OM45GE - Posted - 01/05/2017:  14:53:26

lumped some cow flops into a statue of Donald Trump and called it the Donald Dump.

It won second prize and may have

banjoscotty - Posted - 01/06/2017:  04:03:33

won 1st but Clinton was there and did her own "dump"on Trump's Dump.

We have a very corrupt political

OM45GE - Posted - 01/06/2017:  04:24:08

science department here at the local community college.

You have to bribe them to