chuckv97 - Posted - 08/13/2022:  07:18:43

was steam cleaned by Roscoe’s Upholstery Restoration.

Roscoe’s son Dewey hates breathing in

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/13/2022:  11:30:20

the fumes from the Lutefisk special at Jimmy’s Lunch.

And who

OM45GE - Posted - 08/13/2022:  16:06:03

can blame him?

Unless you are

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/13/2022:  17:39:09

into self-abuse or are trying to win a bet, there is no reason to subject oneself to the unpleasant characteristics of lutefisk.

I suppose

OM45GE - Posted - 08/13/2022:  17:55:20

I shouldn’t be judgmental, but damn, that stuff is vile!

Seriously, how can

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/13/2022:  19:45:02

Scandinavians arrive in far-flung territories and then foist such “delicacies” on their neighbours?

Manitoba has never cottoned to the Vikings

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2022:  03:46:07

and their peculiar sense of fashion.

They often

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/14/2022:  15:09:57

stand at the border yelling obscenities to Minnesotans.

The Mountie always gets his man

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/14/2022:  15:53:12

or woman, if he’s lucky.

Lately

KyBanjo - Posted - 08/14/2022:  16:45:10

it seems he has been out of touch with reality.

He has these really odd

OM45GE - Posted - 08/14/2022:  17:47:51

hats made out of aluminum foil and is building something on top of his garage.

It looks like

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/14/2022:  19:23:29

a launch pad for rogue drones armed with baking soda.

Perhaps his meds

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2022:  03:07:59

need to be adjusted.

That’s assuming that he

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/15/2022:  06:34:41

is following doctors orders and taking them.

Speaking of

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2022:  08:15:05

orders my SO has mandated that I scrub the bath tub after a day in the grease pit.

She says “Til death do us part”

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/15/2022:  11:56:57

and I’m beginning to believe she means business.

I now sleep

OM45GE - Posted - 08/15/2022:  18:46:55

with one eye open.

It’s not very restful, but

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/15/2022:  21:48:31

then neither are her ferocious temper outbursts.

Her mother told me she was dropped on her head

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2022:  02:54:29

several times in an attempt to knock some sense into her.

That doesn’t

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/16/2022:  03:29:08

always work on the first round of attempts.



Occasionally

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 08/16/2022 03:31:22

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2022:  03:44:27

I beat my head against a wall in frustration.

One time I threw my clubs into the golf course pond

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2022:  06:19:10

and was promptly issued a citation for littering.

I tried to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/16/2022:  08:30:14

drive the golf cart into the pond to retrieve my clubs.

Needless to say

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/16/2022:  08:55:04

I encountered an angry alligator named Albert.

He chewed off a cart tire

OM45GE - Posted - 08/16/2022:  18:18:10

just to prove he was tougher than I am.

I had to admit

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/17/2022:  03:50:30

the whole affair was and exercise in futility.

A farmer

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2022:  07:29:39

tried to tell a joke about a traveling salesman but it didn’t go over well.

He forgot

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2022:  08:14:44

the punch line about his daughter losing her innocence.

Most traveling salesmen

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2022:  12:12:10

will never have their car break down near a farmhouse and even fewer will encounter a fetching farmer’s daughter.



I dare say

Edited by - OM45GE on 08/17/2022 12:12:25

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/17/2022:  14:39:57

that I have high hopes for the lottery ticket I purchased today.

My luck

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/17/2022:  16:20:59

has disappeared along with my wife.

I believe she

OM45GE - Posted - 08/17/2022:  17:42:13

may have taken a few other things as well.

For instance,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/18/2022:  06:45:57

I haven’t been able to locate my National Geographic magazine collection or several of my old Sears or Monkey Wards catalogs.



You don’t suppose

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 08/18/2022 06:46:49

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/18/2022:  07:59:09

she lit fire to them to get back at me for my marriage-destroying BAS syndrome?

My shrink gave up on me

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2022:  03:57:55

after I told her she was driving me crazy.

I didn’t intend

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/19/2022:  09:17:52

for it to be an assault on her character but she broke down right in front of me.

I recommended that she

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2022:  11:34:40

seek help from a professional therapist.

Imagine my surprise when she

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/19/2022:  17:32:34

asked my car repair guy Cecil for a gab session to air out her past grievances with everyone she's ever known. 



Cecil read 'Psychology for Dummies’

Edited by - chuckv97 on 08/19/2022 17:37:43

OM45GE - Posted - 08/19/2022:  17:47:38

To prepare himself for the session.

Unfortunately, things didn’t

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/20/2022:  05:22:44

quite work out for Cecil because she sued him for malpractice and now owns his car repair shop.

Turns out she actually

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2022:  06:58:33

knows a thing or two about oil changes and fixing flats.

Speaking of flat

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/20/2022:  12:51:54

, have you heard of “The Flat Earth Society”?

Apparently

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2022:  15:11:43

they’ve all gone over the edge.

They were surprised

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/20/2022:  16:41:01

to learn that their headquarters was located just beyond the delivery radius of their favorite pizza joint.

Faced with

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2022:  17:13:35

pizza-deprivation stresses they began making their own pizzas using flatbread.

Then they made plans to travel to the four corners of the earth

OM45GE - Posted - 08/20/2022:  18:21:45

which is when their delusory misconceptions became readily apparent.

However, the disregarded the

chuckv97 - Posted - 08/20/2022:  18:51:10

logbooks of Columbus and sailed east to go west.

Their 60 year old garbage scow

OM45GE - Posted - 08/21/2022:  03:15:30

ran aground on the shores of the Fresh Kills Landfill.

They wandered around

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 08/21/2022:  05:16:36

until they came to the ends of the earth, and then decided to jump off.

Little did they know