Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/10/2014:  14:40:17

strip dancer slides on the pole

on the other side of the river

JohnN - Posted - 10/10/2014:  14:46:18

which should never be confused with Santa Clause who lives at the pole and can jump over rivers.

What really gets my goat

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/10/2014:  17:35:31

there is a tavern that serves watered down whiskey.

Last night Mr. Seagram himself

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/11/2014:  04:07:32

got Chuck drunk and then just walked out!

If you own a cow,then

JohnN - Posted - 10/11/2014:  05:26:08

she can sleep with you in your bed.



There's nothing better than

Edited by - JohnN on 10/11/2014 05:27:20

dat - Posted - 10/11/2014:  09:18:38

mustard greens and cornbread.

the garden didn't grow much better than

JohnN - Posted - 10/11/2014:  09:25:42

my sister's since I moved to the moon last year.

I was forced at gunpoint

dat - Posted - 10/11/2014:  09:35:37

to post on the BHO

all I really wanted to do was

JohnN - Posted - 10/11/2014:  09:46:39

play my banjo where I wasn't bothering anyone, since the moon was the only logical place, when all of a sudden

these green people that smelled like cheese with fiddles and dobros and BHO credentials removed their skin tight

Edited by - JohnN on 10/11/2014 09:47:46

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/11/2014:  13:02:28

suits and then I woke up.

Always bring a survival kit when

JohnN - Posted - 10/11/2014:  14:55:37

your brother eats beans.

And keep away from open

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/11/2014:  15:40:48

fires and flames,unless he swallows 10 "Beanos".



Then tell your brother

Edited by - chuckv97 on 10/11/2014 15:41:57

JohnN - Posted - 10/11/2014:  16:17:01

to say "she slits sheets" ten times fast.

If he asks you why, just take out your

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/11/2014:  16:25:30

phone and tell him to call himself if he doesn't believe you

my pickin hand

jistgreg - Posted - 10/12/2014:  01:59:57

has been up my nose too many times. 

Sometimes in church 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/12/2014:  04:49:45

they tell the banjo man to get sanctified.

When plowing your fields,never ever

JohnN - Posted - 10/12/2014:  05:19:18

sever the lever, whether the weather, or whosoever weathers the lever severer, is clever enough to sever the lever,

without the help of Uncle Brian who has no

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/12/2014:  12:20:01

fear of Martians, I managed to escape from Ray Walston.

Bill Bixby,however,

jistgreg - Posted - 10/12/2014:  15:00:55

a lightning river pilot, taught Sam Clemens everything he knew about the Mississippi River. 

When the knowledge and lore came down to John Hartford, 

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/12/2014:  16:01:19

everybody went out and bought a derby hat.

Watch out when shifting gears on a river boat,,they tend to

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/12/2014:  17:39:29

backfire and belch blue smoke right onto Huck and Jim's raft.

Becky Thatcher warned

jistgreg - Posted - 10/12/2014:  18:20:30

the Sunday School superintendent that "pirates" were going to bust up the Sunday School picnic. 

When the pirate horde turned out to be Injun Joe, 

MWBailey - Posted - 10/12/2014:  19:48:34

Hew was strung up with silly string and toasted over Mary Wilkins' portable tea warmer.

When hot and scorched, silly string smells like

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/13/2014:  02:37:15

Pop's old toe rags.

They're not as good as socks but they

OM45GE - Posted - 10/13/2014:  05:37:30

sure do stink up the room when he takes his boot off.

We've asked him

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/13/2014:  07:38:42

to move to the barn,but he pretends not to hear.

Next time

jistgreg - Posted - 10/13/2014:  08:19:26

he plays deaf, we're gonna confiscate his banjo. 

They call it a "teachable moment," and 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/13/2014:  13:51:40

expect us to find some sort of comfort in that.

Personally, I think

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/13/2014:  21:02:43

teachable moments were invented by sadists.

A vice and hacksaw

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/13/2014:  21:18:29

we're propionate on the jail cells back in the day

wow wouldn't believe what happened to me at the

banjoscotty - Posted - 10/14/2014:  02:55:24

last tribal ceremony.

The chief thought I was involved with

OM45GE - Posted - 10/14/2014:  04:06:50

his teenage daughter AND his youngest wife. 

I tried to tell him I can't keep 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/14/2014:  04:13:20

a brave of the first degree. 

I decided braving the brave was preferable to 

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/14/2014:  06:33:09

powing the wow,so I called Tonto.

His horse was

OM45GE - Posted - 10/14/2014:  06:39:32

originally named White Feller.

However, they changed when

Scaggs7 - Posted - 10/14/2014:  16:35:46

when the F150s came out with the big motor

when I left to go home

OM45GE - Posted - 10/14/2014:  16:37:43

I found someone had taken my car keys.

There was no way

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/14/2014:  18:40:27

to hotwire the ignition so I got Scotty's mule to pull me home.

The son-of-a-gun bucked

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2014:  03:14:06

me hard and then bucked me again.

He was a real mother

jistgreg - Posted - 10/15/2014:  03:31:55

of invention. having been recruited by Frank Zappa back during WWII while he was making all those lifesaving cigarette lighters. 

Compared to Scotty's mule, other mascots 

Edited by - jistgreg on 10/15/2014 03:32:39

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2014:  03:40:43

were considerable more stubborn which flew in the face of the stereotypes. 

That made us wonder

chuckv97 - Posted - 10/15/2014:  10:26:26

what anti-stubborn medicine Scotty administered to his mule.

Valium used to be

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2014:  11:04:46

a lot more effective on the beast.

Then he learned to

oliver james - Posted - 10/15/2014:  11:27:36

secretly inject him with a dose of pure vanilla and anti-bacterial soap

as you can imagine, this

jistgreg - Posted - 10/15/2014:  11:51:07

drove him clean out of his mind. 

It was a dirty shame 

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2014:  12:34:35

to see that mule running around the paddock like a scalded cat, braying to wake the dead.

Then, just as suddenly, he would

dat - Posted - 10/15/2014:  12:38:18

stop and speak english to anyone that would listen.

nobody even thought about

oliver james - Posted - 10/15/2014:  12:50:55

the possibility of a mule using Rosetta Stone.

As the stable boy made his bi-weekly rounds,

OM45GE - Posted - 10/15/2014:  13:32:07

the mule suddenly started acting nervous and kept his backside to the wall.

It made us wonder