OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  07:58:22

it doesn't work under water anyway.

I'm planning on communicating by

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2014:  08:32:49

CB radio from now on.

Hey Sally,come to the dance tonight and we'll

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  08:36:38

go up in the hay mow for a spell.


Certain that she was there to look for a needle in a haystack, she....

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/28/2014:  08:42:12

got down on all fours and pulled out her official Webster's blue back spelling book.

Immediately

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  09:09:52

she realized his true motivation for asking her to the hay mow.

It was

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/28/2014:  09:48:28

certainly not to mow hay!

It was

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  09:54:24

to repair the floor boards that had come loose.


To say that she was excited to see his hammer was an understatement, as he....

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/28/2014:  10:06:40

had two; one was a carpenter's claw type and the other an  obviously oversized ball-peen.

She especially admired the way

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  10:51:16

he swung his oversized hammer with such confidence and ease.

It reminded her of

Jim Yates - Posted - 02/28/2014:  10:54:26

the Thor comic books he used to read as a kid.

If his mom hadn't thrown them out,

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  11:17:40

which she said she hadn't, but he was not convinced.

Perhaps it was time to

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  11:25:25

buy some new books that featured oversized hammers.


The only ones he could find were a carpenters guide to building an under-the-stairs storage area. so.......

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  11:29:51

he headed off to the vintage carpentry book emporium.

He hoped to satisfy

banjoscotty - Posted - 02/28/2014:  11:36:41

himself so he bought a sledge hammer.

So now he is ready to

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  11:49:33

do some serious damage.

So he donned his tights and cape and headed off

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  11:57:05

to the hay mow, where Daisy was in waiting.

Looky here he yelped, i just found my.....

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/28/2014:  12:04:13

long lost native American made wingbone turkey yelper.

Daisy's eyes lit up and her mouth

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/28/2014:  12:10:50

spewed forth a long tirade of obscenities.

He said I love it when you talk

Edited by - chuckv97 on 02/28/2014 12:11:40

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  13:06:27

turkey.

Do you mind if I touch your

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  13:08:51

like a sailor !

The next thing i knew...stars were spinning...and the taste of hayseed chaff was in my mouth, so i....

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  13:15:58

poured myself another Scotch and sat back to enjoy.

The next thing I knew I was

chuckv97 - Posted - 02/28/2014:  15:36:13

in a jail cell, moanin' the blues.

Visions of Hank

RandyZ - Posted - 02/28/2014:  16:04:54

The local butcher. Waving his cleaver in the air like only he could, when...

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  16:21:15

my cell mate shattered my reverie.

He announce that it was time to

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/28/2014:  16:32:03

do some tricks and entertain the girls

Last night was the last time

BigMonFan - Posted - 02/28/2014:  16:37:03

I will sleep without a night light on.

Something or someone

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  16:47:32

has been skulking about in my room.

I'm not sure who, but

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/28/2014:  17:51:42

it's to late for Santa

They sang the songs of

kcjc69 - Posted - 02/28/2014:  17:56:04

six pense all the way to the market.

But when they got there the butcher

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  18:02:40

was on a murderous rampage. 

He was chasing the 

Scaggs7 - Posted - 02/28/2014:  18:07:01

pigs down the street and doing things he shouldnt have done

Now as I lay me down to. sleep I

OM45GE - Posted - 02/28/2014:  18:12:12

can't get those damn pigs out of my head. 

I keep seeing them

Jim Yates - Posted - 02/28/2014:  23:17:12

dancing all night at The Pigtown Prom.

They wore...

Edited by - Jim Yates on 02/28/2014 23:18:15

FRAILER57 - Posted - 02/28/2014:  23:55:44

top hats and bowlers, along with black and white wingtips. The lady pigs wore.... 

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2014:  03:24:02

nothing but "G" strings,,,tied around their ancles?

They were dancing to the Jellyroll Blues when

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2014:  03:41:43

the police burst in. 

Someone had complained about

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/01/2014:  05:13:27

the lack of air conditioning and no cold beer in the joint, plus now they had to put up with smellin' a bunch of sweaty pigs.

The cops were sympathetic though

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2014:  05:31:10

, having been called "pigs" by thoughtless people.

It stung,  but they learned

BigMonFan - Posted - 03/01/2014:  05:46:00

the whole world is not as perfect as New England.

Of course opinions

banjoscotty - Posted - 03/01/2014:  06:03:36

differ in the south.

Don't let me catch you doing that again or I'll

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2014:  06:38:31

be forced to report you to the authorities. 

They may not

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/01/2014:  11:21:10

be lenient with Puritans and Buckeyes.

Your northern attitude

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2014:  11:53:04

is inappropriate in a southern latitude.

So you had better

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/01/2014:  12:21:36

listen to Jimmy Buffet  sing "Changes in Latitudes" for the rest of the day.

Key West is

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2014:  12:30:31

east of as many places it is west of. 

why don't they

kcjc69 - Posted - 03/01/2014:  14:53:30

call it Key East cause it sure isn't West of much.

I saw Jimmy's famous pop top

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2014:  16:57:23

but I was so inebriated that I can't remember.

My friends tell me I

kcjc69 - Posted - 03/01/2014:  17:44:43

my tattoo was like nothing they'd ever seen.

Now I'm looking for Bad Tats to

OM45GE - Posted - 03/01/2014:  17:54:42

compare mine to. 

It really is