chuckv97 - Posted - 03/07/2021:  16:04:53

who was alive or dead, or somewhere in between.



Andy threw his badge at the mayor

Edited by - chuckv97 on 03/07/2021 16:05:15

OM45GE - Posted - 03/07/2021:  16:40:59

and started singing “Take This Job and Shove It”.

The mayor seemed

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/08/2021:  04:56:52

perplexed as to why he could never catch things very well, as the tin badge rolled beneath the squad car.

The next day

OM45GE - Posted - 03/08/2021:  05:36:34

Barney backed the squad car out of the parking spot and ran over the badge, causing a small leak in a tire.

He sped off unawares

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/08/2021:  06:43:26

until his spindly arms failed to keep the car on the road.

Careening wildly, he splashed into the fishing pond

OM45GE - Posted - 03/08/2021:  10:54:40

and flailed about futilely while the squad car sank into the muck.

When they found him,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/08/2021:  12:34:41

he was cradling a carp with a bullhead wedged in his behind.



His bullet

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 03/08/2021 12:37:24

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/08/2021:  19:16:03

was in a snapping turtle’s mouth.

“Don’t bite into that!”

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2021:  03:19:28

he shouted just a moment too late.

The turtle bit down and

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/09/2021:  04:39:25

broke several teeth.

Meanwhile, back in Hooterville

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2021:  06:19:45

the lawsuit between the town and Hooters Restaurants continued unabated.

The town had history on its side but Hooters had a lot of support

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/09/2021:  07:25:57

from the mayor’s office.

He and his minions

OM45GE - Posted - 03/09/2021:  07:43:09

had frequent diner cards and racked up lots of Hooter Points.

They hoped to redeem them

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/09/2021:  12:39:50

for full sets of cookware and dandy chrome toasters.

One person

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/09/2021:  13:20:54

started a fire in his kitchen after he fell asleep boiling oil to make apple fritters with said cookware.

His neighbo(u)r, Peggy Prudemore, saw the smoke and took her garden hose

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/09/2021:  14:40:38

in hand.

She

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2021:  03:20:20

had to undo the hose from the spigot because it wasn’t long enough to reach the fire.

She should have realized

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/10/2021:  04:51:56

sooner that she had missed paying the household bills which were all overdue.

Suddenly

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2021:  06:15:04

she remembered that she was supposed to be sorting her underwear drawer.

The dropped the hose and

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/10/2021:  07:54:33

left said person to tend to his own burning desires.

Waking up in a panic

OM45GE - Posted - 03/10/2021:  11:44:18

happens to me all the time.

It usually involves a missing

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/10/2021:  16:03:32

car payment or two maybe more.

After that happened they

Edited by - KyBanjo on 03/10/2021 16:05:27

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/10/2021:  16:08:13

sent over Rockin’ Rico to “persuade” me to pay up.

Rico has a way with words

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/10/2021:  17:53:50

saying “Me like gopher meat”.

He

OM45GE - Posted - 03/11/2021:  03:21:42

probably has a great sense of humor but it’s difficult to tell.



For one thing, he never

Edited by - OM45GE on 03/11/2021 03:21:55

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/11/2021:  05:58:31

changes his stoic expression or blinks his eyes while golfing.

He claims

Roller-me - Posted - 03/11/2021:  07:00:41

he says I shall get a check in the mail..
then later next afternoon..

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/11/2021:  07:08:46

he walked into a parking meter.

He was distracted

OM45GE - Posted - 03/12/2021:  02:44:00

by a fancy sports car that caught his eye.



It dragged his eye three blocks before

Edited by - OM45GE on 03/12/2021 02:44:17

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/12/2021:  07:08:21

he could blink.

Now

OM45GE - Posted - 03/12/2021:  08:21:46

he looks at everything from a different slant.

He also has to

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/12/2021:  08:45:04

walk donning one elevator shoe.

He met an unstable woman

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/12/2021:  09:20:19

named Ilean who had one leg shorter than the other.

Her mother

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/12/2021:  15:25:11

is the same way they often hobble along together.

One time they

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/12/2021:  15:29:05

walked in circles for hours at a Massachusetts rotary on Route 20.

But I digress,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/13/2021:  11:35:35

and must say it’s common for folks with one short leg to favor hillsides for their daily walks.

At Alkali Ike’s Bar

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/13/2021:  12:22:48

it was especially equipped for short leg customers like them.

It was

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/13/2021:  12:32:03

built with slanted floors by drunken carpenters.

Drinks are poured half full

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/13/2021:  18:47:45

of cheap hooch, loaded up with ice, and sold for twice the normal price.

So it was

OM45GE - Posted - 03/14/2021:  11:24:52

not my favorite place to frequent.

However, it was

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/14/2021:  14:22:13

just down the street from the topless car wash.

They have

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/14/2021:  14:46:54

women there who clean their headlights constantly.

My favo(u)rite is Grunelda

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2021:  03:43:47

who is a natural beauty if you catch my meaning.

It’s uplifting to

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/15/2021:  07:44:51

see that Bubba also got a job at the topless car wash.

Wearing only his

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/15/2021:  07:48:49

pink leotards he cuts a fine figure for a 350 pounder.

His boss, Big Jim Justis,

Pick-A-Lick - Posted - 03/15/2021:  12:24:29

was called “Big Jim” (mostly by the ladies) for a reason.



He earned

Edited by - Pick-A-Lick on 03/15/2021 12:26:33

OM45GE - Posted - 03/15/2021:  16:02:10

his reputation as a stud muffin the hard way.

There was a good reason he

KyBanjo - Posted - 03/15/2021:  18:12:19

acted and behaved the way he did.

After all he had just

chuckv97 - Posted - 03/15/2021:  18:16:46

been released from a penal colony.

My guess is